Beautiful Life

Where Is Your Tummy?

2010-04-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

Ashley has been learning about her body features. Last night, while I was reading her books, the book mentions about mouth, ears and hands. So I decided to quiz Ashley a bit.

"Where is your zui ba (mouth)?"
Ashley pointed to her mouth, and said, "ba, ba, ba..."
"Good job!"

"Where are your er duo (ears)?
Ashley grabbed one of her ears, and I said "great!", then she switched her hands to the other ear.
"That's right! You got two ears! Smart girl!"

"So, where is your bi zi (nose)?
Ashley looked at me a bit confused, hesitated a bit, and pointed to her nose.
"YEAH! That's right! That's your bi zi!"
"bi, bi, bi..." Ashley repeated in excitement.

"Where are your yan jing (eyes)?"
Ashley closed one of her eyes and pointed to it.
"YEEAAH! " I started clapping, and Ashley was so happy and she started jumping up and down.

So I decided to ask her something I haven't taught her.
"Ashley, where is your Du Zi (Tummy)?"
Ashley looked at me very confused and probably was thinking, "What is Du Zi? " But for some reason, she squatted down, and pointed to her butt, "Du, du..."
"Hahahaa, Ashley, that's not your Du Zi, that's your Pi Gu!"

Aaaaarrrrrdooo

2010-04-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Ashley is at the age where she loves to imitate anything we do and anything we say. She is like a little copy machine that surprises and cracks us all the time.

When I came home this evening, the power just went out. I was busy looking for candles, but for some reasons I couldn't light up those candles using a BBQ lighter. Daddy was sleeping in the bedroom, and I said "Andrew, can you come and help me?" No answer. So I raised my voice, "AAAAANNDREEEEW...." At that moment, Ashley screamed, "Aaaaarrrrdooooo....." The nanny and I looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

Well, Daddy, don't be surprised that one day your daughter calls you, "Andrew, come over!"

Tiusse 4-Way

2010-04-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

What's "tissue 4-way"? Well, it's like fish 2-way or duck 3-way you might have seen in the restaurant. That's right, Ashley can play with a tissue in 4 different ways!

The other night, Ashley pulled a tissue off her changing table, squatted down on the floor, and pretended to wipe her butt! Hahaha, she saw that we use tissue to wipe her butt all the time and she knows you can use a tissue to wipe your butt!

Afterwards, she ran over to the TV stand, and started wiping and cleaning the TV stand with the same tissue. She looked at me and pointed to the TV stand, "%^*&#)@*)%^@%". That's right Ashley, please make sure you clean the dirt off the TV stand. You're such a good cleaner!

After she was done with her cleaning, she used the same tissue again to wipe her mouth. Well, Ashley, yeah we use the tissue to wipe our mouth, but using the same tissue after you wiped your butt and the TV stand, it's a bit disgusting though.

Last but not the least, you think she's done with that tissue? Noooo. Ashley knows to utilize her resource to the very last bit. She decided to tear the tissue into small pieces on the coffee table, and started giggling out loud.

Well, Mommy doesn't quite understand what's so funny, but I'm glad Ashley can entertain herself so well with a single tissue. Maybe we don't need to buy her any more toys??!! :-)

"Bu Yao! Bu Yao! Bu Yao!"

2010-03-23T17:27:00.000-07:00

As Ashley's vocabulary increases, her all time favorite word is "Bu Yao" (No in Chinese). Everything you asks of her, her first response is "Bu Yao".

One night, Ashley woke up and vomited, and after clean up. Mommy tried hard to put her back to sleep.

"Ashley, do you want to go to sleep?"
"Bu Yao!"

"Well, do you want to eat some rice then?"
"Bu Yao!"

"How about some milk"
"ooooh, nai nai...." Ashley pointed to the bottle warmer, but without a definite answer.

"Do you want some oranges or grapes then" Mommy continued to try.
Ashley looked at Mommy, and you could see her little brain was working hard trying to figure out what oranges and grapes are. After a few seconds, "Bu Yao!"

"hmmm, do you want to go to the park and play?"
"oooooooh....." without any hesitations, Ashley walked to the front door, and pointed to the door, "#%^&*($&^)$#&$" I guessed that's a "Yes".

"Well, Ashley, look, it's very dark outside. We don't go outside to play in the dark. When it gets dark, it's time to sleep." Ashley looked at me and seemed to understand what I was saying. I picked her up and carried her to her bedroom and put her to sleep. She didn't even fight it.

Ashley's 18 Month Checkup

2010-03-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

Ashley's measurements at 18 months:

Head circumference: 46 1/4 inches, 22 percentile
Height: 32 inches, 61 percentile
Weight: 22 pounds 6 ounces, 42 percentile

I have some doubts on the accuracy on these measurements, especially on the head circumference and height. At her 15 month check up, her head percentile was pretty high, around 60 percentile and her height was low in 19 percentile. How can within 3 months, her head percentile dropped so much and her height percentile went up so much? It's probably human measurement errors. I'm also very surprised that her weight percentile is 42! She used to be at 17 percentile at 15 months. Ashley is a fuzzy and slower eater, I'm extremely surprised that her weight percentile has gone up so much within 3 months. Is it possible that other kids don't grow much within these 3 months except Ashley???? In any cases, I'm just happy that Ashley is very healthy.

Ashley's doctor also appraised her of her language skills and her cooperation during the checkup. "Most of one and half year old won't allow me to do all these examinations without a fight at this age. She is such a good baby!"

Indeed, she is!

Ashley's Little Stories

2010-02-22T17:48:00.000-08:00

Here are some little cute stories about Ashley in the last couple of weeks

Teasing

Ashley loves cheerios. The other day, she was eating her cheerios and Daddy asked her to feed him some cheerios with his mouth wide open. Smartie Ashley ran over with her fist full of cheerios, pretended to put some cheerios in Daddy's mouth, then pulled back her hand, and started laughing out loud! Hahaha, she was teasing Daddy! Where did she get that from?

Tunnel

Ashley loves crawling through tunnels. We have a coffee table that has 2 shelfs. Creative Ashley decided to make a tunnel out of the coffee table. She cleared her toys sitting on the 2nd shelf, and crawled over from one side to the other, and fell off the shelf and landed on top of stuffed animals. She then started giggling, got up and went to the opposite side and started this game over and over again. She is so funny.

Undress

Every time we come home from outside, Ashley knows to take off her shoes and always tries to unzip her jacket. The other day, the nanny took Ashley to play in the park. It was pretty sunny. After a round of playing and running around, Ashley got hot. She pulled off her hat,unzipped her sweet shirt and took it off! All other
grand parents and Mommies at the park was pretty impressed.

Little Good Girl

The nanny takes Ashley to the park to play every morning and Ashley has met some little friends to play with at the park. In general, Ashley is a very calm and un-fuzzy baby. Ashley often goes around her business in the park and plays herself. She often would play with other kids' toys when she sees them left unattended, and once other kids run over and grab their toys, Ashley just let go. She never cries or fuzzes over the toys. According to the nanny, all grandparents and Mommies love Ashley and often praise what a good little girl she is. Well, what can I say? She's Mommy's little good girl.

Bu Yao

"Bu Yao" means "no, I don't want it" in Chinese. Ashley has mastered in saying it in the last couple of weeks. Every time I ask, "Ashley, do you want grapes/banana/cheerios/yogurt/water?" She automatically starts shaking her head nonstop and says "bu yao, bu yao, bu yao, bu yao....." Well, like most of women, we don't aways say what we mean, Mommy still puts grapes/banana/cheerios/yogurt/water in front of her mouth, and most of time, Ashley takes them.

Mama & Baba

Ashley has been able to say "mama" and "baba" for a longest time, but half the time it seemed she was just saying it. In the last couple days of or so, Ashley seems to all the sudden knows what "mama" and "baba" are. She runs to me, saying "mama", or brings a toy to me saying "mama, xxxxxxx". Perhaps she knows to mama is me, and baba is Daddy?

Ashley's Update at 17 months

2010-02-11T21:26:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I have been lazy with keeping up the blog lately. It's about time for me to update the blog before I forgot all of those fun cute little moments.

In the last couple of months, Ashley went for her 15 months check up. She is still on the tiny side, but she's all happy and health.

Weight at 15 months: 20 lbs 13 ounces, 17 percentile
Height at 15 months: 29.5 inches, 18 percentile
Head Circumference: 46 cm, 51 percentile

Ashley is over 17 months old now. She is no longer a crawler, not only she walks everywhere, she also runs everywhere. Over the last couple of months, her language skill has developed amazingly. She's quite a chatterbox now. Here is a list of Ashley's vocabulary.

1. mama: She says this randomly, sometimes it seems she knows whom she is calling, sometimes it just seems like she says for fun.
2. yaya (Chinese for duckie)
3. hua hua (Chinese for flower): not only she recognizes all so kinds of real flowers, she also recognizes flowers on the books, on the plates, flower pots, on her cloths and even tiny little flowers on her pants.
4. mao mao (Chinese for cat)
5. ji ji (Chinese for chick): although sometimes she still confuses chicks with ducks.
6. xie zi (Chinese for shoes): she also can say shoes in English as well
7. shoes
8. mao zi (Chinese for hat): if you asks her, "Ashley, where is your mao zi?" She goes and fetches her hat and puts it on.
9. wa zi (Chinese for socks)
10. apple: she thinks all fruits are apples until you correct her.
11. ji zi (Chinese for oranges): well, she'll say apple first, and then when you say, no it's not apple, it's ii zi. She'll repeat, "jeee zi".
12. bao bao (pronounces with 3rd accent, Chinese for baby)
13. bao bao (pronounces with 4th accent, Chinese for hold me): lately she loves to follow Mommy around and when she can't get to the place she wants, she holds up her hands and orders Mommy, "bao bao!"
14. nai nai (Chinese for milk milk)
15. quan quan (Chinese for circles, in this case, it means Cheerios): Ashley loves cheerios and she's never tired of eating them even after her meals.
16. che che (Chinese for car): every time she sees a car or when we stops at the stop light, she always points out the car and says, "che che".
17. xie xie (Chinese for thank you): she doesn't say this often, I often have to say it first, and she might repeat after me.
18. ai ni (Chinese for love you): well, Mommy decided to teach her to say, "wo ai ni", which means "I love you" in Chinese. After 1 night of coaching, Ashley can't say 3 words, but she says, "ai ni" now every time I say "Wo ai ni" to her. It's so sweet and it just simplify melts my heart.
19. ma (Chinese for horse): she recognizes horses in the book and says"ma" when you ask what that is.
20. bye bye: she says this randomly depending on her mood.
21. shu shu (Chinese for trees): she sometimes thinks all trees are flowers, until you correct her, and she'll repeat it after you. Although lately she's able to says "shu shu" lately when she sees trees in the book.
22. aaaaasssshhhhhh: Ashley
23: yao (Chinese for the phase "yes, I want it"): she answers "yao" when I ask her if she wanted some cheerios/meat/veggies etc. She can't quite say "bu yao" which means, "no, I don't want it". When she doesn't want it, she just shakes her head.
24: ma ma de (Chinese for Mommy's): she points to Mommy's backpack, clothes, etc, and says "ma ma de".
25: bubble: She learned this from watching Baby Einstein.
26: mouse: She also learned this from watching Baby Einstein. Ashley pronounces as mooouussse and of course she thinks all of those fury little creatures are all mouse.
27: uh oh: Not only she can say it perfectly, she knows exactly when to use it such as her pants gets pulled up, the ipod video stops playing. When she runs and falls, she says, "uh oh" and then gets up and continues to run without crying. What a brave girl!
28: ai ya (Chinese, simlilar to uh oh): Similar to uh oh, she knows exactly when and where to use it. When she drops something on the floor, makes a big mess, or when mommy drops some of her food on the tray, she says "AI YA" loudly and points to the mess. It's so funny!
29: more: when she wants more certain type of food, she'll point and says "more, more?" She also says "more" when she wants you to play with her.
30: no more: she uses this when we try to get her to eat more, she shakes her head and says, no more.
31. peeeaasse: this is latest word Mommy is trying to teach her. Ashley almost got it, but she says as peeeaaassse.

Well, what else? There were so many cute moments during the last couple months. I'm trying to remember some of them.

Feeding Kangaroo
Ashley has a kangaroo that has a baby kangaroo in the front. One day Ashley was drinking the water from a straw, she sipped, and then pointed the straw to the big kangaroo's mouth and then she took another sip. Well, she didn't forget the baby kangaroo, this time she pointed the straw to the baby kangaroo's mouth. What a sweet girl!

Sharing Cheerios
Ashley loves her cheerios and always wants to eat cheerios in the morning, at lunch, in afternoon and after dinner. But she's such an unselfish girl, she also loves to share her cheerios. If I open my mouth while she's eating her cheerios, she'll put some cheerios in Mommy's mouth. Of course she gives me 1 cheerios at a time. She also trys to feed the animals in her book or in the ipod video some cheerios by putting the cheerios in the animals mouth. The other day, she ate 1 cheerios, then gave a cheerios to her teddy bear's month, then moved on to her kangaroo, and to her koala bear, and finally she picked up her 3-ducks-in-a-row toy, and fed each duck 1 by 1. It was so cute!

Mommy's Little Shadow
Daddy's been traveling again and Ashley has become more clingy to Mommy. She follows Mommy around everywhere and always wants Mommy to hold her all the time. If Mommy walks away from her, she runs to Mommy immediately and clings to Mommy's legs until I pick her up. Mommy enjoys it. It's nice to feel you are needed.

Books
Ashley loves books. Every morning after her breakfast, she runs over to the bookshelf and points to her books, and says "oooooooo" until you get her a book. After flipping through one book, she points and asks for another book. She also enjoys the story time before her bedtime with Mommy. Sometimes while she's reading her books, she starts babbling a bunch of sounds I don't understand as if she's telling the story.

Balls
Ashley loves to play with balls, She is often walking around with a ball in her hand. At the play ground, if she sees a ball, she automatically starting running towards the ball, picks it and plays with it. At the play dates, she loves any toy with balls. At Cerisa's house, there is a toy that shoots out 4 balls, Ashley tried to grab all the balls, but of course she only has 2 hands, so smart girl like her used her neck to hold on some balls so she freed her hand to get even more balls. It was very funny. Ashley also loves to share the balls, and often picks up a ball and gives it to you or her playmates. What a good girl!

Phone
Ashley has 2 phone toys and often she plays with them pushing the buttons playing the music. She eventually figured out they are the "phones" so she started using them as phones pretending making phone calls and having conversations. Ashley often sees Mommy and Daddy talking on the iphone. She has an ipod video in which she watches Baby Einstein. Well, ipod video and iphone look the same, so Ashley sometimes puts ipod video near to her ears and starts talking up a conversation. It was pretty funny.

I love you
I can't help but to brag that my little girl can say "love you" in Chinese. She probably doesn't know what it means yet, but regardless, Mommy is so happy to hear her saying "ai ni", and it means so much to Mommy.

Change My Diaper Please / I Want To GO Out / TV Is On / I Want To Listen To Music or Watch This Show / Get Up Mommy! / Weight Lifting

2009-11-24T17:12:00.000-08:00

Ashley is getting cuter and smarter each day. Every now and then when she poops, she points to her butt and says, "poooo pooooo". Most of times it means that she poops, and of course sometimes it just means she pees or farts.

While we were visiting my parents last month, one evening we were all having dinner and all the sudden Ashley just walked over to the living room, crabbed her changing mat from the sofa, put it down on the floor and lay herself down with her legs up. She was basically telling us, "Change my diaper please!"

It was so funny and cute.

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Ashley loves to go outside and she was especially so when we were in Philadelphia. Everyday, Mommy, Daddy and PoPo took turn to take her out for a walk. She quickly recognized she needed her shoes, her jacket to go outside. So she would grab her shoes and jacket to you indicating that she wanted to go outside.

What a smart baby! :-)

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After many experiments, Ashley figured out how to turn on the TV. When she turns on TV and there is no picture since the cable box is not on, she would come to your side, points to the TV and makes baby sounds, saying, "Hey, the TV this on!"

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Ashley loves to listen to the music and watches baby video. Every time she wants to listen to the music or watch her show, she grabs the CD or the video, gives them to you and babbling, "eee, eee, oh", she's saying, "I want to listen to this CD/watch this show!" And if you still don't know what she's talking about, she grabs your hand and put it on the CD/Video case, and points to the computer. Now, you got what she's trying to say?

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Every morning, after feeding Ashley, I often just lay around on the floor and play with her. Lately, when she doesn't want me to be laying down, she would grab my hair and pulls it up while babbling. If I still don't move, she would start pushing my shoulder until I get up. "Get up Mommy!" that's what she's trying say.

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Although Ashley is a tiny girl, she got big muscle and loves to lift weigh (she must got that from Mommy!). The other day, she was playing around the dining area where are some several 1-gallon bottles of water laying around. She started picking those half emptied bottles and moving them to the chair. After she was done with those, she started trying to pick up those full bottles, and of course she can't lift them yet, so she started babbling and pointing to the bottles. Well, Ashley, if you eat more, you might be able to lift those bottles!

First Step Of Freedom

2009-11-23T16:37:00.000-08:00

For a longest time, Ashley had been cruising around holding onto furniture and was able to walk for a couple of steps without any support. But the magic moment of the walking never came. I for one, was never worrying about her not walking yet. Deep inside, I still wanted my little baby to be a little baby who just lays around in Mommy's arm.

Little did I know, the magic moment can come at any time when you least expected. The day Ashley turned 14 month on Friday, October 30th, 2009 while we were visiting my parents in Philadelphia, I was chatting with my Mom in the kitchen, all the sudden, I saw Ashley somehow pushed herself up on her legs in the middle of living room and started walking towards us, and then happily walked into my arms. It was at least like 10 steps! Later on that night, she walked again by herself. She finally reached one of the most important milestones. She's free!

Ever since then, she has been walking everywhere. Although she still walks like she's a bit drunk and falls here and there, but she walks faster and faster, and with more confident each time. You hardly see her crawls at all. Amazingly, she walks and then sits on her butt, but she can somehow push herself up right away on a single leg, How does she do that?

I'm very happy that Ashley is officially a toddler now and finally reached her first step of freedom, she is no longer a 4-legged "animal". Yet at the same time, I'm already yearned for the little tiny baby that I once had. How does she grow up so fast???!!

The Journey Of A Milk Cow

2009-11-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

One of the most amazing moments of Ashley's birth that often strikes out in my mind is that soon after Ashley was born, the nurse brought Ashley to my recovery room and the minute Ashley and Mommy had skin-to-skin contact, she latched right away to be breast fed. It's one of those most intimate feelings that is hard to describe with words.

During the next 3 days in the hospital, little Ashley and the new mom worked together trying to figure out how to do breast feeding. At those 3 days, milk didn't come in and all we got was colostrum and the latching wasn't working correctly for the most of the time. The first night, the nurse started hand expressed the milk after Ashley finished sucking and then gave her the rest of expressed milk. Often little Ashley would fall asleep after sucking so hard for while and Mommy ended with bruised and crapped nipples. By the 3rd day in the hospital, Ashley's weight dropped from 7 lb 3 oz to 6 lbs and 12 oz. Worrying about her weight, the doctor suggested Mommy to start pumping after each feeding and gave Ashley the pumped milk using a syringe. Those initial pumping was very painful. By the time we checked out of the hospital, the milk still hadn't come in fully and Ashley's weight dropped to 6 lbs and 8 oz.

I still vividly remembered the first day we got home from the hospital both Mommy and Daddy were so worried about Ashley not getting enough food. Daddy went and bought a can of formula and gave Ashley 1 oz of formula. Mommy continued to pump after each feeding. Miracle happened right away, Mommy's milk came in and Ashley had plenty of milk supply and never needed the formula again. Since then Mommy became a highly productive milk cow. Not only did Mommy have enough milk for Ashley, Mommy also had plenty of leftover milk after each feeding to save up. We never had to worry about not having enough milk.

For her first month of life, Mommy breastfed Ashley for the most of times and only a couple of times we fed her the breast milk with a bottle. By the 2nd month of her life, we started to try using bottle to feed Ashley. But Ashley was so used to be breastfed, she refused the bottle every single time (Really, who wouldn't? Human nipple is so much better than a rubber nipple and besides, it felt so warm to be cuddling next to Mommy!) During her meal time in the afternoon and evening, Mommy would go out so that Ashley wouldn't smell Mommy and PoPo or Daddy would try to feed her with a bottle. An hour or so after, Mommy would receive a phone call from PoPo and Daddy with Ashley crying on the background. The milk cow was asked to return to work. By the time I got home, I could hear Ashley's crying from parking lot, the minute I got home, Ashley saw her dearest milk cow and stopped crying immediately. She knew her milk cow was home and she had food again!

The bottle training went on for more than 2 months and Ashley still wouldn't drink from the bottle. By the end of 3 months, Mommy had to go back to work, and somehow, Ashley would need to and have to drink from the bottle. So we decided to do cold turkey on her and only offered her the bottle. The first day, the last time Ashley was breastfed was at 3AM, and every time we gave her the bottle, she would cry and fuzz, and then stopped and played, but still refused the bottle. For 18 hours, she refused to drink from the bottle. By 8 PM at night, she started to drink from the bottle. Thank God! What a relief! The 2nd day, she would fuzz and cry at each feeding session, but by the end, she would drink from the bottle each time. The 3rd day, she drunk from the bottle without any problem. YEAAAHHH!!!!

Although Mommy enjoyed and missed the closeness and the bonding from breastfeeding, and the most rewarding satisfied smile Ashley gave to Mommy at each feeding, we were concerned that if we alternated between breastfeeding and bottle feeding, Ashley might get confused or she might just refuse the bottle again. It was very difficult to get her to drink from the bottle finally, so we didn't really want to risk it despite how much Mommy enjoyed the breastfeeding. We decided to feed Ashley breast milk in a bottle and Mommy would continue to pump.

So the milk cow started her pumping journey since November 2008 and continued to provide plentiful of milk and save up lots of frozen milk in the freezer. The milk cow would pump out 29 oz to 27 oz of milk each day. Ashley was exclusively on breast milk the whole time. By 9 months, we decided to introduce formula. And of course stubborn Ashley refused to drink any formula. She could even taste the 2 oz of formula mixed with 2 oz of breast milk, and completely refused it. So we persistently offered her the formula at her first feed thinking that she might hungry enough to accept the formula. Slowly, Ashley accepted the formula. Since then, the highly productive milk cow got to slow down the milk production. The milk cow started to pump 6 times a day and slowly cut down to 2 pumps each month and milk production started from 29 oz, to 25 oz, to 21 oz and so on to 11 oz for 2 pumps. Meanwhile, we slowly increased the number of formula bottles from 1, to 2 and then to 3. Finally Ashley accepted the formula without any hesitation and she drunk both formula and breast milk alternatively.

At the end of last month, we planned to visit my parents in East Coast for a week, and Mommy and Daddy would go for a cruise for 5 days without Ashley. Since Ashley was turning 14 month old, it was time to for the milk cow to retire. No one had ever told me that weaning off the breast milk is as hard as getting breast milk. Mommy started to just pump once, and then every other day. Mommy was so engorged and painful for 4 days and finally thanks to the Chinese herbs, the milk production finally went away. After 11 months of pumping, the milk cow is officially retired!

Ashley now drinks formula and frozen breast milk alternatively (Yes, the milk cow actually had enough leftover milk to last Ashley maybe for another 2 months!) and probably completely forgot the taste of fresh breast milk. Mommy can no longer eat big meal, shovel spoons of ice cream directly from the box, have excuse for eating so much, and not worry about gaining weight. Instead, Mommy starts the calories counting days and mesmerizes those good old days.

Really, at the end, it's the milk cow who truly misses breastfeeding instead of little Ashley.

Scratch My Back Please! / Stinky Mommy! / New Words

2009-10-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ashley loves to have her back scratched and her ears cleaned. She is so mobile and active nowadays that it's very hard to keep her still. However, every time her back gets scratched or her ears get cleaned, she just sits there quietly without any movement enjoying being pampered. So the other day after Daddy scratched Ashley's back, she immediately pointed her fingers to her back and babbled, "hmmmmm! hmmm!!" as if she was saying, "More! More!" and ordered Daddy to scratch her back more.

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Ashley says, "chuuu, chuuu" indicating stinky, and shakes her hands when we change her diapers. She knows the meaning of stinky and the other day Mommy came out of bathroom and saw Ashley looking at me and shaking her hands, and babbling, "chuuuuuu". I can't help to burst out laughing. She's so cute!

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Ashley's new words:

1. 'aaaaappoo" for apple and she points to the picture of an apple.
2. "aaaaashhhh" for Ashley. She can't say Ashley yet.
3. "baooobaooo" for bao bao (chinese for baby)
4. She blows a kiss if I asks her to blow me a kiss in Chinese.

Walking / Ashley's vacabulary / Bib / Hair Clip

2009-10-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ashley has been cruising around holding on furniture for a while. One morning last week, I was sitting on a chair not far from her toy piano, She first held on to the coffee table, and shifted over to the toy piano. I opened my arms, and she walked 4 steps towards to me without any support. She's going to be able to walk very soon.

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Ashley understands a lot of new words. She loves to read and Mommy always reads The Hare and the Tortoise, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar to Ashley every morning. She now can point to the little duck and the little cat, and says, "Ya Ya" (Chinese for duck), "Mao Mao" (Chinese for cat). She flips the book and points to the hare on every page although she can't say Tu Tu (Chinese for hare/rabbit) yet. She loves to flip through The Very Hungry Caterpillar book. She says, poooouuu, I think it means Apple.

Every time Mommy and the nanny changed her diapers, we used to swing our hands in front of our noses and said, "Chou Chou" (Chinese for stinky). So now a days, when we change her diapers, Ashley swings her hands in front of her nose, and says, "chuuuuu". It's so funny.

Ashley also understands, Gou Gou (Chinese for dog), Qiu Qiu (Chinese for ball), Niu Niu (Chinese for cow) although she can't pronounce them yet.

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Ashley loves to pull her bibs off her neck, sometimes she just plays with them. Recently, after she pulls her bib off, she would try to put them back on and of course she can't work it out exactly yet, so she would just wrap it around her neck in all sort of ways and babbling at the same time. I think she's trying to put the bib on by herself.

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Ashley loves to pull off Mommy's hair clip, plays with it and sucks on it. The other day, after she pulled my hair clip and played with it for a while, she crawls over to my back again, and held the chair clip on my hair clip to my head, and started to babble, I think it means she wanted me to put it back on. So I did, and she crawled away and then crawled back, and repeated the process again. It's very cute.

Learning to Let Go

2009-10-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

As a parent, one of the hardest thing to face is probably the fact your child is getting more and more independent. One of hardest thing to learn as a parent is probably learning to let go and realize that your child is an individual person who eventual will grow his/her own wing, fly their own path, make their own mistakes, learn from them, and live their own life.

Since Ashley was born, she had been sleeping in her crib in our room. Initially was because it was easier to take care of her as she woke up every couple hours and we didn't want little baby Ashley to be alone. Secondly, we live in a two bedroom condo, which doesn't give us much room. We basically need a spare bedroom to accommodate visitors. It worked out pretty well and I for sure definitely enjoyed the closeness. However, every now and then at night Ashley often kicks her legs, makes noises, sometime screams here and there, It often wakes Mommy and Daddy. On the other hand, whenever we get up in the middle of night or early morning to use the bathroom, we often wakes up Ashley. We thought of moving Ashley to her own room a while back, but for some reason never actually did it. Maybe subconsciously we didn't want to let go?

Things are getting worse and worse as Daddy travels so frequently lately and often has jet lag to battle with. He often goes to sleep at 2AM, or wakes up at 3 or 4 AM at night, and that just wakes both Ashley and Mommy up. So this Friday night, Daddy woke up at 3AM, and Ashley got woken up, it took her a long time to fall asleep and then she woke up again at 6AM. It was totally a nightmare. Everyone was tired and exhausted. It's time to move her to the other room.

After lunch Saturday, we got rid off the second bed, moved her crib to the other room. Everything happened so fast, it only took a couple of hours. So for the first time, Ashley got to sleep in her own room Saturday afternoon for her nap. We were a bit worried that Ashley might not be able to sleep in the new environment and it might take a couple of days for her to get used to her own room. Surprisingly, she took her nap without any problem. Saturday night she went to sleep within 10 minutes as usual after we put her to sleep. In fact, she slept so well that she woke up at 7:15 AM on Sunday. Sunday she took her naps in her own room without any hiccups. As usual last night, she went straight to sleep in 10 minutes. This morning around 7:20 AM, I heard her making some noise, I jumped up in a conditioned reflex, got her milk ready, went to her room, but she was still sound to sleep. So I just laid quietly on the floor next to her crib waiting for her to wake up. She didn't wake up until 8AM!

I'm surprised but at the same time glad that Ashley made the transition so well. She is truly an amazingly great baby. Honestly, Mommy feels a bit uneasy and lost that my little sweet baby is moving away and making her new step towards independence. Perhaps the same feeling that many Moms feel when their children go away for school or move away to live. But truly, children often do so well without the constant protection of their parents. Parents are usually the ones who couldn't let go and couldn't face the fact that their babies are finally grown up and have to live their own lives. Somehow, children have to take those initial steps, just like babies learning to walk and birds learning to fly. They'll never learn to do it unless actually doing it.

So as a parent, I can only give my child love, support and protection unconditionally when she needs it and learn to let go when the time comes. And this weekend, I learned to let go for the first time.

Home Alone With Ashley 5

2009-10-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Once again, Mommy is home alone with Ashley.

As usual, Ashley and Mommy played, read together in the mornings. After her morning nap and her lunch, Ashley accompanied Mommy to do grocery shopping and run some errands. We went to Ranch 99, Macys on Saturday, and Costco, Whole Foods on Sunday. After her afternoon naps, Mommy and Ashley walked to the pond at the neighbor complex, played and watched duckies On Saturday. And on Sunday, we went to the park. Ashley was all happy and silly. It was a lot of fun.

Then Monday came, Mommy took Ashley to get her first flu shot. By Monday night, Mommy started feeling sick. I just simply burned out of energy by looking after Ashley by myself, and running around all over the places for the last one and half months. Tuesday morning, Ashley started feeling sick too. She has some side effects from the flu shot, sneezing, coughing, stuffy nose, running nose, etc. Although her symptoms seem to be getting better, but she is still not quite 100%. I'm not sure if Mommy has infected Ashley or not. Meanwhile, Mommy is still sick with flu like symptoms.

Concern about the possibility of getting swine flu, Mommy went to the doctor yesterday. Luckily, the doctor said it was not swine flu, just upper respiratory infection.

Poor baby and poor Mommy. Hopefully Ashley gets better soon and hopefully Mommy recovers soon as well. It definitely has been tough with Ashley getting sick twice and Mommy being sick and being alone. What a month!

Ashley Is 13 Month Old Today

2009-09-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

No doubt this month is the toughest month for Ashley & Mommy since she was born. Ashley got sick for the first time soon after her first year vaccines. Then she got some side effects (stuffy running nose, sneezing, fever) after the flu shot she got this Monday. She was perfectly fine before all of those shots, it makes me wonder if it's all worth it getting the flu shot. Poor baby! Mommy has been all alone taking care of Ashley, and Mommy is getting sick as well.

Here are some highlights and milestones of this month.

1. She finally got her first 2 upper teeth at the same time!

2. She understands a lot nowadays. She knows to fetch the ball, get the duck, press the music bottom when you ask her to do it.

3. She is more talkative, sometimes for a pretty long sentence as if she is starting a conversation with you. She knows to say "Ya Ya", Chinese for duck, except she says, "Yaaaaaaaaa Daaaaa". She can also say "Nai Nai", Chinese for milk milk.

4. She knows to turn on the TV by pressing the bottom on the front of the TV.

5. She loves to dance and can dance by standing up holding onto some furniture.

6. She can stand without support for 10 seconds or so.

7. If you put her against the door, let go and put your arms out, she can walk towards you in a couple of steps.

8. She loves to lay around Mommy on the floor whenever she sees Mommy laying around. She lays around by Mommy's head, Mommy's arms, Mommy's legs, twisting her body and laughs. Sometimes she decides to kiss Mommy's face, arms, legs, and stinky toes for no reasons. She is such a sweetie.

9. She loves to go behind Mommy, plays peek-a-boo, grabs Mommy's hair, Mommy's hair clip and bursts out giggling.

10. She loves to listen to Mommy reading books to her and she can points out the little bunny, little chick, little duck on the book.

At Logan's birthday party.

Hanging out by the pool.

Dancing by the coffee table. OK, OK, OK, I know it doesn't look like she was dancing, but believe me, she was.

Brave Girl

2009-09-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

Ashley got her very first flu shot today. It was very quick, in a couple of seconds it was done. Ashley originally didn't know what was happening until couple of seconds after it was done, she then started to cry with a delay. But she is a brave girl, the crying only lasted a few seconds, and by the time Mommy carried Ashley to look at the mirror, she already stopped crying. I hope she doesn't develop any side effects this time.

This reminds me that 3 days after she was born, she was supposed to get Hepatitis B vaccine. Mommy couldn't bear seeing little baby Ashley crying, and decided to wait anxiously inside the patient room. All the sudden, I heard a loud crying that lasted only a couple of seconds, and it stopped. The nurse pushed Ashley back and praised, "She is such a brave girl!"

Yes, Ashley is a brave little baby and Mommy knows she'll grow up a very brave girl one day!

Home Alone With Ashley 4 - Part 2

2009-09-18T16:48:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, Ashley recovered completely from her first sickness. She is back to her usual happy, funny self. Not sure if spoon feeding her the milk while she was sick made her didn't want to drink much from the bottle or not. But over the weekend, I found myself spooning feeding Ashley milk after she didn't drink much from the bottle at most of the feedings. I didn't want her to get used to the idea, so I told the nanny not to spoon feed her any milk any more.

So, what did Daddy miss over these couple weeks?

1. Of course, he missed Ashley being sick. It was very tough looking after a baby let alone looking after a sick baby.

2. After almost 3 months since her first tooth appeared, her long-waited upper teeth are finally coming in! YEEAAAAH! I think there are two coming in at the same time. When I tried to touch her upper gum the last time, she bit down pretty hard. She can bite now!

3. Whenever I have dinner, I put Ashley on her high chair and every now and then when she gets bored, I go behind her chair and play peek-a-boo with her. She loves the game and giggles so much. She learns to play this fun game. A couple of times, I would sit on a little chair, Ashley would crawl over behind me and starts to giggling. And if I turn my head to catch her, she giggles even more. It's pretty funny just listening to her giggling out loud.

4. Ashley learned to drink from the straw! We had been giving her the cup that comes with a straw, but every time she either chewed on it, played with it or threw it away. The other day when I came home, the nanny told me that Ashley can drink from the straw! Ever since then, she gets the straw cup filled with water and she has been drinking a lot of water.

5. For some reasons, Ashley loves Mommy's hair clip. Every time she sees me with the hair clip, she would push my face aside so that she can grab the hair clip. Of course sometimes she just pulls it along with some hair and of course it hurts. She also loves to go behind my back while I'm sitting on the little chair, and tries to grab the hair clip and she would just burst out laughing. It must be funny to her, but at the same it's fun to Mommy to see Ashley giggling so hard.

6. Ashley recognizes duck! Last weekend, when I was at a store with her, there were some rubber ducks sitting on the counter. They look a bit different than her rubber ducks at home, but Ashley recognized them right aways. Her face lighted up, and she pointed to them and started babbling. The salesperson gave her one duck and she loves it.

7. Ashley loves to go out and is a social butterfly. She now knows to request to go out. She often points to outside or to the door and babbles, I think it means she wants to go out. And if you take out then, she is all happy. When she grows up, it won't surprise me that she becomes a party animal!

Home Alone With Ashley 4 - Part 1 / Ashley Is Sick

2009-09-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

After being home for 4 days from his last trip, Daddy is away again for business trip since last Thursday. YES! AGAIN!!!!

The long weekend started smoothly. Ashley was her usual self, happy and playful. Untie Susan came and visited us. It gave Mommy a chance to slip out to do grocery shopping while Ashley was taking her nap. After her nap, we went for a walk around the neighborhood where Ashley saw lots of ducks swimming in the pond.

Sunday afternoon, Mommy took Ashley to Logan's first birthday party. Logan is one of the babies in Ashley's play group. All babies in the play group were born around the same time. Ashley had a lot of fun playing here.

Things started going to the opposite direction Sunday evening. For some reason, Ashley refused to eat any solid food for dinner on Sunday evening. Mommy tried to give her different types of food, she refused all of them even her favorite Beef Carrot and Corn. Running out of ideas, Mommy decided to give Ashley some avocados. Ashley took some of them but she then threw up on the some piece of avocado. Mommy then smashed the avocado, again Ashley took some and then threw up again and she still refused to eat or drink anything. With no choice, Mommy put Ashley to sleep. It was about 9 PM.

Soon after Ashley went to sleep Sunday night, she woke up crying at 12 midnight, then at 2AM, 4AM and 6AM. She had high fever. Mommy tried to rock her to sleep for 20 minutes each time, but she was still crying. At the end, Mommy just sat with her in the rocking chair until she felt asleep.

Labor Day Monday was probably the toughest. Ashley had high fever the whole day despite the Tylenol Mommy gave her. She refused any baby food, just took some milk. She was uncomfortable, fuzzy, cranky and in pain, and was crying all the time. Mommy had to hold her and hug her constantly. At the moment I put her down, she would start crying. Mommy even had to go to the bathroom holding Ashley. Ashley normally crawls so fast, but she must feel so bad that she crawled in slow motion, like a little snail.

Monday night, Ashley woke up again every two hours crying with high fever. Even her hands and feet were so hot. I gave her some more Tylenol and tried to put a cold towel on her head but she pushed away. I tried to feed her some liquid, but she hardly had any. She was obviously in pain, but I couldn't do much except holding her, hugging her, comforting her, giving her a lot of love, and singing to her in the rocking chair until she felt asleep.

Mommy was so exhausted Tuesday. It was so difficult for one person to look after a sick baby, so Mommy decided to take a day off looking after Ashley with the nanny. The nanny and I took turn holding Ashley, feeding her and comforting her. she still had high fever and was still cranky and fuzzy. It was very painfully to see Ashley so uncomfortably in pain yet she couldn't tell you what was wrong with her. Poor baby! Mommy just wished that I was the one who was sick instead of her, and that I could just give her the immunity she needed to fight off the sickness.

She still refused to eat any baby food and by Tuesday afternoon, she only had less than 12 oz of milk. Worrying about her, Mommy decided to take Ashley to see the doctor with the help of the nanny. The doctor checked her out and said there were 3 possibilities. One, she got the fever from her 1 year vaccines. Two, her upper teeth are coming in and that might causes fever. Three, she might have stomach flu. The doctor said that a healthy baby's immune system will fight it off the virus, and in a couple more days she should be better. She asked us to make sure she has enough fluid intake and at least has 2 wet diapers, and that we might have to force feeding her liquid so that she won't be dehydrated. If she is dehydrated, we have to take her back to the doctor and they can do IV to her. But of course that's the last choice.

After we got home, both the nanny and I spoon fed Ashley some more milk, but the whole day she had around 17 oz of milk only. Tuesday night, she was still waking up every couple of hours but her fever seemed to be better.

Wednesday, Mommy took another day off. Ashley's fever seemed to be gone by the end of the day, but she was still hardly eating any baby food, just some milk. But she seemed to have a bit more energy. Wednesday night, she still woke up every now and then, but she didn't cry and didn't have fever any more.

Thursday morning, Ashley's fever was gone and she seemed to be better although Mommy noticed that she had some rash on her forehead. So Mommy decided to go back to work. In the afternoon, after calling the nanny, I found out that Ashley had rash breaking out all over her body. So I decided to call the doctor again. After some discussion, the advised nurse told me that what Ashley had is the childhood virus, Roseola. It happens to most babies between 6 months to 2 year old. The rash comes in after the high fever is gone, and the rash should disappear in 1 to 2 days.

Thursday night, Ashley was better and was able to have a little bit solid food. On Friday, she started to eat more baby food. So, after about almost 1 week, Ashley is recovered from her first sickness. Mommy is so exhausted and burned out, but at the same time is so relieved to see Ashley back to her happy self. Her energy level started to come back slowly and she is starting to crawl faster and faster.

What a week!

Ashley's 1 Year Checkup

2009-08-31T22:35:00.000-07:00

Head: 44.9 CM, 45 Percentile
Height: 28 3/4 inches, 39 Percentile
Weight: 19 lb 3 oz, 20 Percentile

Ashley is on the tiny side, but we're very happy that she's very healthy.

Highlights of this month.

1. She understands words

2. She can stand without support for a few seconds.

3. She can walk while holding onto any furniture.

4. She points to everything.

5. She babbles a lot, mostly just baby talk.

A picture is worth of thousand words. Here are some photo of Ashley this month.

Little ballerina in practice.

Hanging out with Mommy by the swimming pool.

Sharing my toys with Cerisa.

Got caught emptying baskets.

Having fun bouncing up and down in the door jumper.

Yeah, I found my bear!

With Mommy at Cerisa's birthday party.

Bonding with Daddy.

Family photo at Cerisa's birthday party

In my pretty dress for my birthday.

Another shot in the birthday dress.

In the birthday crown.

Family photo at my birthday.

My first birthday cake!

Look at all these gifts I got!

A Year In Memory

2009-08-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

In a blink of eyes, a year of time slips through the fingers just like running water does.

It wasn't long ago, little Ashley barely fitted in her car seat that we had to use 3 extra towels as padding, nowadays her legs just dangling from the car seat. It wasn't long ago, she couldn't do much besides laying there spending her time looking around, and then she was able to lay on her tummy, to pull herself up from lying position, to roll around, to sit up, to crawl around, and then to cruise around. It wasn't long ago, it was safe to just lay her down on the sofa, and walked away to do your own stuff, and nowadays she is so active that you have to keep your eyes on her constantly and changing diapers becoming fighting a battle.

What strikes me the most about Ashley is that she is so calm, happy, joyful, and sweet. She is a baby born with a smile imprinted on her face.

In the first week after she was born, Mommy and PoPo swore that she could already smile while we held her. Although Daddy insisted that was involuntary muscle movements, yet Mommy believed that her little angel was just as happy to be surrounded and held by her loved ones.

She puts on the brightest sunshine smile every time you go to pick her up from her crib after she wakes up as if she hasn't seen you for ages. She had this most satisfied smile every time after she was breastfed; Mommy knew she was content with a full happy stomach.

The very first time she burst out laughing, swinging her arms and kicking her legs, was at the silly chicken and duck sounds Mommy and Daddy made. From that moment on, we knew she loves to laugh and whether she realizes or not she has brought so many laughter and joys to Mommy and Daddy.

As she grows bigger and bigger, she laughs and smiles at everything. She laughs when you play peek-a-boo with her; she laughs when you tickle her underarms and her body; she laughs when you kiss her; she laughs when you put her on the swing and push her up and down; she laughs when you toss her high in the air; she laughs when she crawls so fast that you can't keep up with her; she laughs when she gets to splash water in her bath, in the swimming pool and on her tray.

She smiles at you when she gets anything she isn't supposed to; she sometimes smiles after she is fed; she smiles and waves at strangers although that depends on her mood; she smiles and shakes her body automatically every time her toys play music; she smiles when you give her the teddy bears and her blanket; she smiles after she fetches her ball, finds the cat and the dog hidden beyond the doors on her toy; she smiles after you let her bang on the computer keyboard; she smiles when she kisses her teddy bears, her blanket, her ball; she smiles every time she sees herself at mirror.

Often, Ashley he is just as happy to play by herself on the playmat, in the exersaucer, on the bouncy chair, in her stroller. She is content to just sit and lay there and observes all those new things and new people. She never fuzzes every time we go out. She waves and smiles at the cashier, at the waiters, at the doctors and nurses, and at some random people sometime. She loves little babies and kids, and smiles at them whenever she sees them. She instantly spreads the happiness to everyone and captures everyone's heart.

Ashley's heart is filled with bountiful happiness and joy. To her, everything is brushed with honey and smelled like a bright red rose. Every person is like her dearest friend although she might have stranger anxiety at the beginning, just give her 10 minutes and she will love you as if she has known you for a long time. Every action she does, or you do with/to her is like shooting to the moon; it makes her so happy and excited that she often screams in joy, swings her arms and kicks her legs.

What is Ashley to Mommy then?

She is a ray of sunshine through the darkest thickest cloud.
She is a cup of hot chocolate in the chilly rainy day.
She is the purest morning dew on a blooming flower petal.
She is the first bud of spring leaf after a long cold winter season.
She is a breath of fresh air in the hot humid summer heat.
She is the fire in the freezing snowy winter night.
She is the wind beneath my wings.

She truly has brought 365 days each filled with happiness and joy to Mommy, and there are many many more to come.

With that said, my little sweet angel turns 1 year old today. She is no longer an infant, she is now a big toddler.

Ashley at birth.

Ashley at 1 year old

Happy Birthday to my little angel!

Home Alone With Ashley 3

2009-08-28T21:21:00.000-07:00

Once again, Daddy is away for business trip during this week!

Last Saturday, Autie Susan came to visit and hung out with us. Ashley wasn't shy nor did she show any sign of stranger anxiety. It only took her about 5 minutes or so to warm up and she was having lots of fun playing with Autie Susan. Mommy even got to slip away to pump for 20 minutes and Ashley didn't even fuzz!

Sunday, Mommy took Ashley to visit Autie JW and her new baby girl. JW's baby girl is just over 2 months old and she also has a 5 year old daughter Kathy. Kathy loves Ashley and Ashley loves to play with Kathy. Ashley was even curious about the little baby and wanted to pull herself up by the stroller to check out the baby. I guess kids/babies just love each other. Ashley had a lot of fun crawling around and playing with Kathy. She got a new toy from Autie JW and Kathy and it plays music. Ashley automatically bounced her body when she heard the music playing. It cracked everyone up.

One morning while Mommy was laying around on the floor after feeding Ashley, Ashley crawled over and laid next to Mommy. All the sudden, Mommy heard Ashley screamed in excitement, it took several seconds for Mommy to look up. And Mommy saw Ashley standing next to Mommy without any support! Somehow she managed to pull herself up from laying position. It might last for at least 10 seconds! Mommy was very impressed.

The nanny discovered the club house from the apartment complex across from us. She has been taking Ashley there in the afternoon to play. There are 4 little toddlers that meet there regularly. Apparently Ashley has a lot crawling around following and playing with other kids

Overall, Ashley was a good baby this week. She went to sleep about 8PM and woke up between 6:30 AM to 7 AM everyday except one night she woke up crying after she slept for 2 hours and it took her 1 hour to fall back to sleep after Mommy comforting her.

Daddy is coming back tomorrow just in time for Ashley's first birthday!

Birth of Ashley 4

2009-08-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Ashley's first birthday is coming up this Sunday, I'd better finish her birth story! :-)

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Once I decided to go for C-section, the nurse started preparing me and AJ for the operation room. I signed whole bunch of paperwork, and AJ was putted on the blue medical suit. I was pretty calm at this moment, the nurse said to me, "You handle it much better than a lot of people." Well, what else could I do? I remember telling AJ to make sure to bring the camera and the camcorder, and told him to follow the baby if they took him/her outside of operation room.

They packed all our belongings underneath the patient's bed and pushed me to the operating room, and here I was in the operation room about to be cut open! They told AJ to wait outside until they settled everything, I don't remember when he was allowed to come in. I was transferred to another bed. They asked me to stretch both of my arms out and tied my arms down on the bench to prevent me from moving. I felt like a pig getting ready to be butchered. The anesthesiologist started to give me local anesthesia while the nurse started to sanitize me.

Soon after, the anesthesiologist told me that he was going to poke me and asked me to let him know if I could feel anything. He started from the leg, to the hip, to the tummy, to the mid body, to the chest, to the shoulder, and finally it was around my neck that I started to feel a little bit. I remembered from the birth class that for local anesthesia, you were supposed not to feel anything from chest down, but I could not feel anything from the neck, and I thought to myself that maybe it was too much anesthesia?

For some reason, the nerves kicked in and my whole body started to shake uncontrollably, I screamed, "I'm shaking!!" the nurse and the doctor tried to calm me down by saying that it was due to the anesthesia and the hormone from the labor and it was normal. Soon the attending physician, pediatrician, pediatrician's nurse, my doctor's assistants all came in, there were probably about 9 doctors/nurses in the room. The surgery was about to start.

Then I heard the attending physician asked AJ, "when the baby is about to come out, do you want me to let you know, so that you can stand up and take some pictures?" AJ replied right away, "No, thanks, I'll stay on this side." We had this discussion before and he didn't want to see any bloody scenes, he's a south side kind of guy. "Oh ok, then pass me the camera and I'll take some photos for you!" The attending physician offered. He did indeed take some priceless photos.

Next I heard my doctor said to me, "We're going to make an incision and you might feel some tingling." Well, I could not feel anything at all. My body was shaking harder and harder, I screamed, "I'm shaking very badly!" Someone then told me to focus on something else, but really how could I? The shaking continued and then slowly I felt I couldn't breathe, so I screamed again, "I can't breathe!" The attending physical then told me that they were monitoring the oxygen intake and everything looked fine. But I still felt that I was having hard time breathing. I bet it was probably the overdosed of anesthesia that numbed my lungs. I truly believed it was due to that, I later vomited all the food my mom made me eat while in the operation room. Now I know why they tell you not to eat anything before the labor!

Then I started to feel sleeping and started to falling asleep. But wait! I remembered from the birth class that local anesthesia during the C-section was not supposed to put you to sleep and you were supposed to stay awake when the baby is born. I bet it was the overdosed of anesthesia that's making me sleepy! I wanted to stay awake for the birth of baby, so I screamed one more time, "I'm falling asleep! I'm falling asleep!!"

The attending physician wanted to keep me await for the magic moment, so he started to ask me a bunch of questions so that I could stay awake. "Where are you from?" "Are any of your family here?" "How did you stay in shape while you are pregnant? ..... I struggled fighting the sleeping bugs and tried to answer those questions. I had to thank him for trying so hard to keep me awake though!

"Ok, we're going to press on your tummy to get the baby out. You might feel some pressure on your tummy." My doctor said to me again. Well, I could hardly feel anything. Several seconds later, I heard some crying! And the doctor said, "Dad, you wanna tell mom what you have?" We didn't find out the gender of the baby while I was pregnant, I wanted a surprise. "It's a girl!" It was a surprise indeed. Either way would be a pleasant surprise.

While they cleaned up the baby, my doctor said, "Oh, look that's why the baby wasn't handling the labor! Her umbilical cord was tied in a knot!! And it wrapped around her neck twice!" Geez, this could have turned very bad, baby with umbilical cord tied in a knot can not be born virginally. She must been doing a lot of gymnastic inside my tummy! Had I known about this, I couldn't come back home the very first time I came to the hospital; I couldn't go to the airport! Instead, I could have stayed in the hospital the first time we came. Luckily, everything turned out OK! It was definitely a right choice to do C-section

A few minutes later, after they cleaned and weighed the baby, AJ brought the baby to me. It was the most magical moment of my life, everything else just seemed to disappear, all the pain and tiredness just went away and the time just seemed to be frozen, I would never ever forget this moment.

Here she is, the baby I had waited for 10 months; the baby that I felt in love the very first time I saw her heart beat on the ultrasound; the baby that has been kicking around for months inside of my tummy! At the very first second we saw each other, she locked her eyes with mine, she knew who her mother is! She was still crying loudly, yes, she got very healthy lungs! I started mumbling, "Hi peanut! It's ok, it's ok, everything is ok, mommy is here...." Her eyes never moved away from me. She is such a very beautiful healthy baby! Baby wrinkle? Not this baby! Her skin is as smooth as silk. Pale purple looking baby? Not this baby! She's so pink and glowing! She's the most perfect gorgeous angelic baby!

I kept on staring the baby, and then I turned my head and said to AJ, "Oh, she got your skin!" To my surprise, I saw some watery eyes on AJ. Really, this is a guy who hardly shows any of his emotions at all, a big 6 foot 2 inch guy. This must really mean something to him. I would never forget this. It's imprinted in my memory!

So, here we were, a week earlier than her due date, after more than 24 hours of labor and a very eventful day, and some scares here and there, we welcomed our beautiful and healthy baby, Ashley. She was born at 6:35 PM, August 30th, 2008, measured 19.5 inch and weighed 7lb 3oz.

Welcome to the wonderful world, Ashley!

Blanket / Pointing / Words / Kissing / Shadow

2009-08-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

In the last couple of days, we noticed that Ashley loves her blanket. Every time she sees her blanket her face lights up and she starts to smile. The very first second she sees her blanket, she automatically sucks her thumb even before we give her the blanket. It doesn't have to be her blanket, any kind of blanket we give her, she sucks her thumb right away.

Of course Mommy and Daddy seize to this opportunity. Every time she doesn't want to drink her milk, we bring out her blanket, she sucks her thumb and we put in the bottle. It works so far!

Knock, knock, knock ... on the wood thousands of times!!!!

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Ashley loves to point at everything nowadays. She points to Mommy or Daddy every time we come in; she points to the lights; she points to the birds/flies/airplanes that go by; she points to herself in the mirror; she points to any person she sees; she points to her toys or anything she wants. If she points to something and we give her the wrong item, she complains and points again until we give her the correct item.

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Ashley starts to understand words and associates words with the correct subjects/actions although she can't speak yet.

Every time I say, "Ashley, pai pai shou." Chinese for "Clap your hands", she smiles, claps her hands and giggles.

If I ask her, "Ashley, qiu qiu zai na li?" Chinese for "where is the ball?" She would look around in the room and fetch the ball.

One of her toys has two doors, one has a cat behind and one has a dog behind. So if I ask, "Mao Mao zai na li?" (Where is the cat?) or "Gou Gou zai na li? (Where is the dog?) Ashley crawls over to her toy, flips the doors open.

Why can I say? She's so smart! :-) And Daddy is also picking up Chinese at the same time! What a deal!

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I think Ashley understands kiss and sort of knows to kiss. If I lay down on the floor and ask, "Ashley, can you give Mommy a kiss?" She would crawl over, puts her entire face on mine, sticks out her tongue and licks me on my mouth and gives Mommy a big wet kiss!

It's so sweet and cute!

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I'm not sure if Ashley understands the concept of shadow or not. But yesterday while sitting at the backseat with her in the car, my shadow reflected on the seat right in front of her. So she kept on pointing to the shadow and kept on babbling trying to get my attention. I looked at the shadow, nodded my head, and said, "Yes, shadow!" She stopped babbling as if she knew what was going on and then pointed to the shadow again until I repeated, "Shadow."

Need I say again, she's a genius! :-) ;-) ;-)

Cruising / Standing / Climbing / Teddy Bear / Game / Shy

2009-08-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

In the last few days, all the sudden, Ashley pulls herself up by the TV stand or by the sofa, and is able to move her feet sideway one at the time. It's almost like walking with support (AKA cruising). She is also able to switch from one supporting subject to another and continues her "cruising" until she reaches her destination. She's getting very close to be walking.

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Yesterday, Ashley pulled herself up from the coffee table, grabbed some toy with one hand, and started to play with it. For a few seconds, she was completely standing by herself without any support. It looks very sturdy too.

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Ashley loves to climb when you are holding her. It just looks like she wants to climb over your shoulder. The other day, she was able to climb herself up to her rocker chair. Everything is happening so fast.

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Ashley has this little towel bear that we always gave her when she goes to sleep since she was born. She loves that tiny little bear, holds it when she goes to sleep; plays with it when she wakes up and carries it with her when we pick her up from her crib. I put a pink Teddy Bear in her crib a while back and I think she plays with it when she wakes up in her crib as well. Yesterday I took her to play with her little friend, Cerisa, and there was a purple Teddy Bear. When Ashley saw the Teddy Bear, she grabbed it and gave it a big hug, almost with her head leaning on top the Teddy Bear, and then smiled. This was the first time I saw her doing that and it was so cute.

This morning, I gave her another Teddy Bear, she lighted up her eyes, grabbed it and gave it a big hug as well and then giggled. It was so cute and sweet. It looks like she's starting showing her girly personality.

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Ashley is becoming very aware of her surrounding and it seems she knows exactly what's going on. This morning, she took a pen that was hanging on my bag, so I said, "No Ashley, you can't play with that. Let's put it back." Right after I put back the pen, but she immediately crawled over, grabbed the pen again, looked at me, and made a couple "hehe" sound as if she was saying, "hehe, I goooot it again!"

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Ashely has the stranger anxiety sometimes, but every once a while, when she meets a stranger or even a familiar face, she loves to pretend to be shy. She would look at you, giggles, shakes her head and turns her heads away from you and smile, waits a couple seconds, turns back, giggles more, shakes her heads again and turns her head away. She would repeat this process several of times and seems to have a lot of fun with it. I sometimes wonder if she's pretending to be shy or if she was just playing a peek-a-boo game. What else it is, she's so cute and fun!

Ashley is 11 Month Old Today

2009-07-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

Today, Ashley is 11 month old already! As everyday passes by, she's becoming more and more like a toddler, my little baby soon won't be a little baby anymore.

Ashley's highlights and milestones are this months are:

1. She is more and more mobile. She crawls very fast, and doesn't like to sit still. In a blink of eyes, she can crawl from one room to another. Changing diaper and her cloth are becoming more and more difficult.

2. She crawls and follows you as you walk from one room to another. You go to the kitchen, she'll soon join you; you walk to the bedroom, she'll come and check out what you are doing. Just like a little cute doggy.

3. She can pull herself to stand everywhere. In her crib, by the sofa, coffee table, TV stand, ottoman...you name it, anything she can reach and pull herself, she has done that.

4. She can stand unsupported for a long time. One of her favorite things to do is to pull herself up by the coffee table, and starts grabbing anything she can reach, plays for a couple of seconds, and then picks it up and throws it on the floor. Things she can't reach? Don't worry, she knows to tip her toes so that she can reach for more things on the table and do more damages.

5. She got 2 teeth, both on the bottom of her month.

6. She's a fuzzy eater, but she loves to see what's on your plate. She crawls over and wants the food on your plate whenever you eat. She never refuses any food coming from your plate.

7. She is very vocal and can talk up a conversation in her crib when she wakes up in the morning.

8. She knows to close the microwave door, cabinet doors.

9. She points to things with her index finger.

10. She enjoys going to swimming pool, and loves to splash, giggle and laugh in the pool.

11. She's a big flirt. She loves to smile and wave at anyone that walks by her. And if you don't respond, her eyes will follow you, and she would babble more and wave more until you give her some sort of response. How could anyone not melt when they see such a cute baby?

12. She loves to dance and is very rhythmic. Every time the music is on, whether she sits or stands, she automatically shakes her body, bounces up and down and swings her head.

13. Got her very first cut by Daddy who didn't cut her bang evenly.

Here are some photos of Ashley during this month.

Hehe, look what I got!!

Hey, what is that inside my shirt???!!!!

Hmmm, I think I ate too much for lunch!!!

Cerisa, Mommy and me. Mommy is getting a bicep workout!

After a bad, uneven hair cut from Daddy. I still look SOOO cute though!

Hey, where are you going?

Mission Destruction in progress.

Birth of Ashley 3

2009-07-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

During the drive to the hospital, I was still silent and contractions just hit harder and harder. I couldn't breath, couldn't talk and every inch of my body just seemed to be in pain. The idea of doing natural birth started to shake, I mumbled to AJ, "I don't know how long I am going to last without epidural. I think I'm going to ask for epidural. This is too much to handle."

I remember us rushed pass the security at the hospital as they could see in the pain in my face. In the elevator, I had to bend over and lean on the wall as the contraction struck again. It really felt like the end of everything.

It took a while before the nurse checked us in and she ran the same tests as the first time.

"You're now 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced."

"What?! That's all? It has been more than 10 hours since I was checked last. I was at 2 cm and 35%!" I cried out.

I thought to myself, geez, all that pain went to effacement, and only 2 more cm? I couldn't imagine how much more painful it would get and how much longer it would take to be 10 cm dilated? Another 20 hours? or more???

At that point, I knew I had to ask for epidural.

"On the scale of 1 to 10, 10 best the most painful. What's your pain level?" The nurse asked again.

"10! 10! 10! 10!" I screamed without any hesitation. Really, is there 20? It felt like 20!!!

"Do you want epidural?"

"YES! PLEASE!"

"Ok, we'll check you in. The time has come."

Finally, more than 20 hours after the contraction started, I was checked to a hospital room. It was August 30, 2009 around 2PM.

The hospital I went to is a teaching hospital and residents are the ones who give epidural. I always felt very uncomfortable having resident applying epidural on me. So I wanted to ask for the attending physician.

The anesthesiologist soon after I was checked in. He started giving me a bunch of information and asking some questions. I remember one of the questions was,

"What was your pain level on the scale of 1 to 10?"

"10! 10! 10!" Geez, can't you guys just give me the epidural??!!

Once he finished asking questions. It was my turn to interview him.

"What year are you on as a resident?"

"3rd"

"How many epidural have you done?"

"About 200."

"What was the worse come out from your patient?"

"...."

"Well, I'm sorry, I don't feel too comfortable having a resident to give me epidural. Can I have the attending physician to do it?"

"Any particular reason why you don't feel uncomfortable about it?"

"Not really. I just don't feel comfortable."

After a phone call, he said, "OK, the attending physician will come."

While the nurse and the resident were preparing me for the epidural, the attending physician came. For some reason, my body started to shake uncontrollably. "My body is shaking, I can't hold it still!" I cried out in panic.

"It's normal, it's due to the hormones from the labor. It's ok. Just relax and breath." Someone replied.

I guessed the doctor could feel that I was tensed and starting asking where everyone was from originally. It turned out that AJ is from Australia, the nurse is from Ireland, the attending physician is from England, the resident is from Oklahoma, and I'm from China.

"What an international delivery room!" Someone commented.

While my focus was shifted during the conversation, the resident finished applying epidural while the physician watched. I realized it wasn't the attending physician who did it, but it turned out pretty good, but I didn't bother to press the issue.

I had learned from the birth class that there is a button on the epidural line that the patient can click for more dosage if needed. So, I asked the anesthesiologist where that button is. I know, I know, this is 180 degree from doing natural birth without pain medicine, but the pain was really unbearable. He showed me where the button was, and I asked,

"What if I click too much and overdosed?"

"Well, it's computer controlled. It doesn't really give much more. It's probably more psychological than anything."

Soon after I got the epidural, I couldn't feel the pain anymore. 5 minutes afterwards, the anaesthesiologist came in and asked again what my pain level was now.

"0! 0! I can't feel any pain! I should have this a long time ago!"

Epidural is truly amazing. After I got it, I couldn't feel any pain. In fact, I couldn't feel any contraction. Every time the contraction, AJ by looking at all those monitors behind me would tell me, "Here comes another contraction." Finally I got to relax and rest a bit after more than 20 hours labor without epidural.

For a while, the labor was very uneventful except around 3:30PM, the water broke. Half hour later, while resting, we heard some sort of alarm went on, but no one came in. So I called the nurse, she came in, ran a couple of tests on the monitor and left. The alarm must have gone off a couple of more times, the nurse was pretty calm, ran some tests and didn't mentioned if there was any problem. Another hour went by, the alarm went off again and the nurse come, ran some tests again and said to me,

"It looks like the epidural slows down the contractions. We are going to use Pitocin speed up the labor."

Not long after the Pitocin was used, the alarm went off again. And this time, it was pretty loud. All the sudden, 4 or 5 nurses rushed to my room, each all doing some sort of tests and 1 nurse started to ask what my blood type was. I had to say, they were all very calm and professional, at least they didn't make me feel nervous.

Finally, my nurse said to me, "Looks like the baby can't handle the labor. Every time the contraction comes, baby's heart rate went down to 60 to 70."

60 to 70??!! The normal baby heart rate is supposed to be between 120 to 150. I started getting a bit worried.

"Is it because we use Pitocin?"

"No, even before that, the baby's heart rate went down as well. The heart rate recovers after the contraction. We normally give 30mm of Pitocin, and we only started 5mm with you. It happened almost every contraction."

AJ mentioned that he could see it from the monitor that one graph showed the contraction and one showed the heart rate and it seemed though the curves went on different directions with contractions. And we were both worried at this time.

"Well, I called your doctor, and she said we might need to do C-section. She'll come and talk to you"

C-section? It was my last reserve. I didn't really want to do it unless it's necessary.

My doctor came and explained more about the situation to me.

"It looks labor is putting the baby in stressed. The heart rate really went down quite a bit. It might be worse. C-section is an option. And you get to see the baby soon!"

"Are there any other options?"

"Well, we can wait and see what happens. But really, this is not true emergency yet, and I can take my time to make the cut and then stitches up. In the real emergency case, we have to rush to take out the baby in a couple of minutes and I might not have the time to do that."

"Can I think about it?" I still hesitated about having C-section.

"Sure, but I'm really worried about the baby." The doctor said.

Once I heard that, all the hesitations went away. The baby's safety is my first priority. "OK, let's do it then!"

Later on, we all found out that this probably turned out it was the best decision I had ever made.

It was around 6 PM on Saturday, August 30th, 2009, more than 24 hours since the contraction started, 4 hours after I checked in to the hospital room, 3 hours after I got epidural. I should have gotten the epidural much earlier had I know that I was going to end up with C-section. Really, you can't predict what can happen in a labor.

Pretty soon, I got to see my baby!

From Memory Lane

2009-07-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I happened to come across some old photos from a friend of mine in college. Looking through these photos, it brings back lots and lots of memories. The memory started peeling like layers of an onion. It was the memory of youth, the memory of carelessness, the memory of fun and the memory of friendship.

Although I hardly keep on touch with some of those friends on the regular bases, but these friendships are probably some of the strongest relationships one can ever have. I know deep down my heart, if I ever needed their help, I can just pick up the phone and call them.

I can't believe how young I used to look and how fast time flies. Thank you my dear friends for your friendships and the wonderful memories. So, here are some old photos from the memory lane (courtesy of Patricia Halgas).

I believe this photo was taken at the Faculty Roast at the end of senior year. Basically, we the students roast each faculty and give out weird awards. Didn't I look SO young?!!!

This photo was taken at the graduation party at John Gianvittorio's (1st from the left) house. I remember John used to come in to the class late and always sat in the front of class. He always had some sort of food and was never shy of eating it in front of the entire class. John, Robert (4th from left) and I were the only 3 continued to graduate schools. John went to UCLA and earned his PHD, I guess we have to call him Dr. G, but you know, we'll always call him John. Robert, like all of us, has BSEE degree, but he went on to get his mater's degree in film making in USC. He's now a producer and won't surprise me he wins an Oscar one day. I went on to Georgia Institute of Technology, earned my MSEE and came to California. I remember 3 of us were visiting graduate schools together. We started out in east coast and made it all the way here in the west coast.

This photo was taken in the EE student lounge, where we used to hang out after class. We spent countless sleepless nights there studying for exams and working on projects. I think this was for someone's birthday. I remember Patty (5th from left, back row) is an excellent baker. She used to bake this amazing cheese cake and brought it in to the class. I now got her secret recipe for the cheese cake, but of course it would never be the same as hers.

This photo was taken during the senior design presentation. Patty, Tom (1st from right), Frank, Lan and I were in the same team. James (1st from left, Ted (2nd from left) and John (2nd from right) were in the same team??? Our design won the 3rd place, I don't remember any price though.

Us girls in EE. We are probably half of the female population in EE, 10 fingers are more than enough to count us. Patty(left on the back), Mae (Right on the back), Phuong (left on the front) and me. Mae, Phu and I met at the beginning of our freshman year. We used to call each other MaeMae, PhuPhu and LingLing, and we wanted to start a club called PhuMaeLing. We were each other's support and we knew each other's life stories. MaeMae is probably one of the strongest and toughest girls I have ever met. She's now working for IBM and living in Vermont. PhuPhu was one of the funniest people I have ever met. She always knew how to make people laugh and always brought smiles to people. Unfortunately, she died in a tragic car accident at the beautiful, young age of 24. I'll always remember her smiles and her beauty. PhuPhu, I know you would continue your laughters and smiles in heaven.

Me, MaeMae and Patty at Bill B's wedding several years ago, many years after we graduated.

There are still so many good friends in my memory book not shown on these photos and so many stories to tell for each everyone of them. Unfortunately I do not have their photos in hand, but each everyone of you still lives in my memory and these memories are to last for a long long time.

Birth of Ashley 2

2009-07-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

How can anyone sleep with on-going contractions?

Of course, I couldn't. I was tired and exhausted, I wanted to sleep. But every time I fell asleep, contractions would wake me up. They were getting more painful and painful. I just tossed and turned the whole time on the bed.

How can I describe the pain? Well, honestly, no word can describe it. I always thought of myself as someone who's very strong physically, and that I have high tolerance for pain. But this pain was way beyond what I could ever imagine.

Around 3:00 AM Saturday, it was getting very bad, so I woke up AJ, "Time to go to hospital! Baby is coming!" The whole way to the hospital, I was very quite, didn't say a word. The pain basically consumed me, I just wanted to arrive the hospital as soon as possible and didn't want to waste any energy talking.

The nurse checked us in and ran some basic tests. I was 2 cm dilated and 35% effaced (thinning of cervix). "What? That's all? All that pain?" I thought to myself.

"On the scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most painful, what's your pain level now?" The nurse asked.

"10! 10! 10!" I responded in pain.

"Do you want any epidural?"

"Epidural? No, I'm going to try natural birth first." I answered. I didn't want any intervention of medicine unless it's necessary, so I always planned a natural birth. Well, at least I wanted to give it a try.

"Hmm, well..., " the nurse continued, "You are now just at the beginning of active labor and natural birth takes a long time. Normally we don't accept patients with natural birth plan until they're further away in the labor. We can't give you any medicine to help with labor if you don't want to have epidural. So, we have 2 choices here, you can either go home and come back later when you're further in the labor. Or you can walk around here for 2 hours and we can check your progress then."

Silence, my brain was spinning around fast. My mom was coming in about 4 hours, I still wanted to pick her up from the airport. And I didn't want to walk around for 2 hours, the pain was very bad, but not the end of the world. After consulting with AJ, we decided to go home. So the nurse give me some pain medicines and we came back home. It was around 5AM then.

The pain medicine didn't help anything. The pain was getting worse and worse. I couldn't sleep of course. I was just lying on the bed, holding onto my tummy, bending my legs together, letting the contractions come by and waiting for the time to go to the airport.

Finally around 8:30 AM, we got up and drove to SFO to pick up my mom. The contraction was hitting harder and harder, the pain seemed to double as before. I couldn't talk even if I wanted to. I felt like I couldn't breath. You know all those techniques you learned from the birth class seemed to be useless. At those moments, you just wanted the pain to go away right then. Every second seemed like an hour.

The walk from the parking garage to the terminal seemed like from the earth to the moon. I held on to AJ on one hand, and the other holding on to anything I could grab, the wall, the railing, you name it. Every once a while, I would stop and say, "Wait, contraction is here!" and put my whole body on the wall. Finally I located my mom amongst a crowd, once I found her, I just sat down. It was too painful to be standing up. I bet the whole airport was looking at me funny. I don't quite remember how I could ever make it back to the car while in the active labor. All I remember is that I basically had to on to AJ and my mom on each side of me, and with each step I felt as if baby's head was pushing further and further down.

There is more silence on the way back. The pain was too much, the sweat started to drop like rain fall and my back started hurt quite a bit. Once I got home, I went to lay on the bed immediately, the pressure was just too much to handle.

The contractions were getting very painful. With each contraction, it felt like my body was being pulling apart and then contracting together. It was so painful that the sweat just broke down. I don't think I can even sweat that much from a hard cardio workout.

My mom started cooking for lunch although I didn't think I was able to eat, but she insisted of me eating some food for energy. It was proven to be a mistake later on. I couldn't chew, couldn't swallow any food. I didn't have any energy to talk. Even opening my mouth seemed to be painful. It was the longest meal I ever had. The sweat kept on coming nonstop with more and more frequent contractions. I couldn't imagine how other women did it, it was way too painful than I could ever deal with.

Time must be frozen for a while since I didn't remember much. Around 1 PM, it was very obvious that the baby had dropped much further down in the tummy. So I said to AJ, "I think it's time to go back to the hospital."

So here we were, 10 hours after the first visit to the hospital, we were on our way again and hopefully by the time we came back, we came back as three.

Birth of Ashley 1

2009-07-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

Ashley's birthday is coming up soon next month (can you believe it?). There were so many stories about her birth and yet, I haven't written down anything. So, here I am, thinking that while these memories are still fresh, I'd better write them down before they fade away.
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I can still remember vividly the week leading towards Ashley's birth, the week of August 25th, 2008. It was a scorching hot summer week, one of those few weeks we get in Northern California once a while. It was so hot that you feel so uncomfortable to stay indoor; the entire house feels like sitting on a hot oven; you sweat right away the very first moment you get out of the shower, and the air seems to be still.

I took 2 weeks off prior to the due date, now thinking about it, I should have taken the whole 4 weeks off. During the week, I went out everyday to get the last minute stuff ready for the baby. At the end of each day, I was exhausted, and the heat didn't help.

At the beginning of the week during the regular checkup, I was already 1cm dilated. At the time, I asked the doctor if this was the sign that the baby might be coming this week. The doctor answered, "No, it doesn't mean much. The baby can come anytime. It could be this week, next week, or the week after."

Thursday night was hot as any other day. For some strange reason, I insisted to have watermelon and it was 10 o'clock at night. I had the need to have it that particular night. So AJ and I walked over to Lucky's and carried two big watermelon home (of course, I didn't do much of carrying). By the time we got home and finally had some watermelon, it was probably about 11PM.

Friday was hot as well. Contractions started kicking in Friday morning. It started very slow and mild and came every once and by the afternoon, it started to come a little bit more frequent. I still had to get some stuff from Walgreens, so I decided to walk to Walgreens in the hot, sizzling sun.

The tummy seemed to be getting heavier and heavier with each step. The breathe was getting shorter and shorter. The contractions came every now and then and my feet was getting heavier and sore. It seemed ages before I reached Walgreens. By the time I got home, I was completely exhausted and hit the bed right away.

By the time AJ came home around 5PM, the contractions was becoming more regular. So I told him, "I think the baby is coming soon!"

My mom was flying in on the next morning Saturday, so I said, "We need to clean the condo!"
Well, you know what they all say about expectant moms have the urgency to clean right before the baby comes, it's very very true!

"I want to go out for dinner for last time together in the next 15 years!" I added.

AJ thought about it, and said, "Sure, but I want to go for a motorcycle ride for the last time."

"OK, how about we clean, then you go out for a ride, and we then go for dinner?"

So, believe it or not, while I was having contractions, we cleaned up the condo, AJ went out for a bike ride, I took a shower and by the time we went out for dinner, it was past 9PM.

I still remember the dinner. It was at Pasta Pomodoro. Instead of usual Frutti di Mare, I ordered Spaghetti Polpette (spaghetti with beef and pork meatballs). I must had thought that I needed the carbohydrate for the labor and didn't want to take any chances with bad seafood. It was a dinner I could never forget, every now and then during the dinner, I would said, "hold on, contraction is coming." And I would put my fork and spoon down, and hold my head. I could barely taste the food. At the time, the contraction was getting a bit painful, but it was still manageable. They came like every 10 -8 minutes, the doctor said to go to the hospital when the contractions come every 5 minutes. So, we knew it must be coming pretty soon.

I don't remember how we finished the dinner. By the time we got home, it must be almost 11 PM. So, we packed up the last minute stuff, and I called a friend to pick up my mom from the airport in case I was in labor the next morning.

All that set and done, we went to bed.

Crossing Heaven's Border

2009-07-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

Crossing Heaven's Border is a documentary on PBS about a group of North Korean risking their lives crossed a cold icy river from North Korea to China, and then smuggled across the Chinese border to Laos and finally into Thailand where they can get asylum in South Korea.

The film follows a group of North Korean consists of a young boy, teenager girl, 60 year old grandma, and a mom whose son is sick with cerebral palsy, and documents their journey to freedom. In any moment if they get caught in China and Laos, they will be sent back to North Korea where they can lose their lives. Some of them carry the deadly poison to kill themselves in the event if they get caught.

What touches me the most during this film is during the grueling 24+ hours of hike through the juggle from China to Laos, the only person who passed out is not the little boy nor the 60 year old grandma, it is the young, fit male South Korean journalist who was filming the group. This is because escaping to freedom is probably the only choice for the little boy and the old grandma. They had no other choice and this is the motivation for them.

Other touching moment is where the mom with the sick child was forced to risk her life to escape from China to Thailand using the fake passport and leave her child behind until she could safely reach South Korea, work and save some money and get her child out of China. She is only doing this because her sick child needs medical care where he can't get it in China as they were defectors escaped from North Korea. Truly, the mother's love is the most unconditional and unselfish of all.

This is really a heartbreaking touching film. It puts tears in my eyes.

So, for those of us who complains
we have to work hard,
live in a small place,
not making enough money,
having a boring job/life,

perhaps instead we should be grateful that we are some of few who
can afford 3 meals a day,
get to breathe fresh air in a free country,
live in a more civilized place,
get to travel to any(most) places we desire,
have the freedom of speech,
lucky enough to live with our loved ones and friends.

and be appreciative of what we have and what life has to offer.

Ashley is 10 Month Old Today

2009-06-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

I can not believe my little baby is 10 month old already today. In this month, she has gone through a lot of transformations. Everyday she is becoming more more aware of what's going on around her. She is more social, interactive and responsive to what you say to her and what you do with her.

The high lights and milestones of this month are:

1. She is very proficient at crawling and she does it very fast. She can crawl to any where she wants to and pulls everything out that comes along her way. She can grab her toy and carries it with her while she's crawling. And of course she does amazing Yoga posts that all of us adults can not do.

Yoga post #1. Look, I can even do single handed push up. Can you?

Yoga post #2. Look, I am doing a plank.

2. Pulls at herself to stand. She pulls herself up by the coffee table, by the hand rest of the sofa, and in her crib. She loves to stand and can stand for a long time. She definitely has strong legs.

3. She is very responsive. She waves bye-bye, claps her hands, blows kisses. She automatically waves and smiles at Mommy, Daddy and the nanny every time she sees anyone of us. She waves and smiles at herself whenever she sees herself in the mirror.

4. She loves to clap her hands. She does it when you clap your hands; when she listens to music. She just does it whenever, where ever.

5. She swings/shakes her head, claps her hands when she listens to music. Maybe she'll start dancing soon? :-)

6. She got her very first tooth.

7. She's more accepting of formula.

8. She cuts her naps from 3 a day to 2 a day, and she goes to sleep around 7:30PM and wakes up between 6 AM to 7 AM. Occasionally , she wakes up around 5 AM.

9. She loves to play kissing and giggling game with Mommy.

10. She babbles a lot more. It seems like she wants to tell you something.

11. She is full of energy and is moving and twisting constantly.

Overall, she is just a sweet, calm, cute and angelic baby.

Here are some photos of Ashley during this month.

Having a great time in my carseat.

I got lots of toys!

Profile. Such a pretty baby!

Hi Mommy, look, I found a leaf while swimming with Daddy.

Home Alone With Ashley 2 - Part 3

2009-06-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

During the weeks that Daddy was gone, little Ashley seems to grow like a little adult. She is aware of what's going on around her.

When she wants to do something bad, she turns around and looks at you as if she is checking if you're looking at her. If you said, "No, Ashley." She smiles and continues to do what she was doing.

When I put her down on her mat and go to kitchen to clean up, she knows to crawl around all the way to the kitchen area, and looks at me and starts babbling as if she was looking for her Mommy.

Daddy got back yesterday. It has been a while since Ashley has seen him, Ashley was a bit of unsure of Daddy at first. She studied and stared at him for a while. She was a little uneasy around him to begin with, but that only lasted a few minutes. After that, she was all smiling and giggling around him.

Michael Jackson Died

2009-06-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, June 25th 2009, King of Pop, Michael Jackson died at the age of 50.

What I remember the most about Michael Jackson is his signature moon walk when I saw it on TV the first time when my family moved to US some 20 years ago.

A legend is gone.

Home Alone With Ashley 2 - Part 2

2009-06-21T22:06:00.001-07:00

I hadn't gone grocery shopping by myself with Ashley yet. I either go by myself, or AJ comes along with us. At the most, I just went to grab one or two things first if I really had to go by myself with Ashley. But this weekend, I had to do a big grocery shopping with Ashley alone.

It wasn't easy, your attention is split all over the places. You hardly had any time to really look for stuff. All you wanted to do is to get it done as soon as possible before Ashley gets uncomfortable sitting in the car seat and becomes fuzzy. So I just went to grab a bunch of stuff. Didn't really know what I got. Not to mention that the car seat with Ashley sitting in it is getting heavier and heavier. It's pretty tough carrying it downstairs, lifting it up to the shopping cart and then carrying it back up to the condo along with the grocery. Luckily, the grocery shopping was done and finished before Ashley had any chance to get fuzzy. She's a good baby!

What did Daddy miss this week?

Ashley is crawling faster and faster. In a blink of eyes, she's already gone to the hallway from the living room.

She is becoming very good at waving. Everyday I come home, she gets so excited and starts waving at me with both hands. When I leave for work, she waves bye-bye. She waves at herself in the mirror; she waves at the nanny when she comes to work in the morning. When I stand at the back of the car and wave at her, she would wave back while sitting in her car seat in the car.

She finally learned to blow kisses. Every morning when I go to work, I would wave bye-bye and blow kisses at her, she responds with the same thing. She's a little sweetie.

She loves to play kisses on the bed. I would kiss her and then lay down, she crawls over, puts her face on mine and starts kissing Mommy and then lays down on her side waiting for me to move over and kiss her. She's never tired of this game, she's so happy and giggly while playing this game.

She seems get the sense of the music. While the music is playing, I would shake my head and clap my hands, and Ashley copies the same thing. Sometimes, out of blue, she would just start shaking her head and clap her hands herself. She's a cutie.

First Tooth

2009-06-19T20:47:00.001-07:00

During Ashley's 9th month checkup, I mentioned to the doctor that Ashley still didn't have any tooth yet. The doctor said to us that it's normal as long as she has 4 teeth by her first 14 months.

"The later the teeth come, the better they are." She comforted me.

Ever since then, every now and then I would check her month, but still there was no sign of any tooth.

Today when I walked in to the house, I asked how Ashley did today. The nanny replied, "She is very good today. She drunk 22 oz of milk already."

"Really??!!! That's great!!!" (Yeah, I know, I know, we have low expectation when it comes to how much Ashley drinks.)

"WOW, Ashley, you're such a good girl!!!" I picked her up and started giving her kisses.

"Well, I have another good news."

"Oh??"

"Ashley got her first tooth!"

"REALLY????!!!" I was pleasantly surprised! I thought she was going to tell me something completely different.

"Ashley, let Mommy look. Where is your tooth?"

I was trying to open Ashley's mouth. Of course she didn't want to cooperate. Finally I was able to ran my finger across her lower gum. Oh yeah, here it goes, I felt it! Ashley finally got her long waited first tooth!

And today Ashley is 9 months and 19 days old.

Home Alone With Ashley 2 - Part 1

2009-06-15T22:08:00.001-07:00

Daddy is traveling again and Mommy is once again left with Ashley alone. It's such bad timing this time since Mommy has RTL freeze and chip tapeout coming up and Mommy has been working every night until 12:30 AM or 1 AM the whole week and the weekend. In addition, the nanny's daughter just moved to US and so she can't stay overnight and help on the weekends.

The weekend started pretty good, Ashley was pretty cooperating. She was happy and playful, she ate, played and napped as usual. However, Sunday morning and this morning, for some strange reason, Ashley decided to wake up way early around 5 AM. She probably had a bad nightmare Sunday morning. She woke up crying around 4:30 AM, but soon fell asleep after Mommy patted her. But then it only lasted for an hour, at 5:30AM, she was awake and didn't want to go back to sleep anymore. Poor Mommy with huge headache and less than 5 hours of sleep had to wake up and started the daily routine. This morning, she didn't cry, but still woke up at 5 AM.

Poor Mommy is so exhausted and stressed out. I looked after her while she was awake, and when she was asleep, I was busy working and fixing bugs. I had terrible acne on my face and huge headache. I am hoping she will wake up later tomorrow.

However, it's still worth of all the work. Ashley sort of learned to kiss, well, more like licking. When she and I were playing on the bed, I moved over and kissed her cheeks, she would giggle, it might be funny to her. So she would then crawl over towards me, put her entire face against mine, and opened her mouth and kissed/licked me. My whole face was wet, and she giggled more. It was very sweet and cute. It is at moments like this, all my tiredness and stress all went away, and instead my heart is filled with happiness and joys.

Play Date

2009-06-06T21:45:00.001-07:00

Every first Saturday of the month, a group of us young moms and our babies get together for play date. I met these women at the birth & delivery class. At the time, we were all first time expectant moms with big bellies and our due dates were within a month of each other. All our babies were born within several days and if not a couple weeks of each other.

This Saturday was the play date again. Ashley and I usually show up late since Ashley has her afternoon nap around this time. I missed the last couple play dates and wow, babies do grow so fast for the first year; these babies all looked very different and big compared the last time I saw them. Although these babies were born around the similar time, but they each grows at their own pace.

Thomas was the only boy there, and he is no doubt the biggest baby, already reaches 22 lbs at 9 month. He also has 8 teeth! He can't crawl yet, but can sort of moving backward.

Logan probably is the chubbiest baby, 19 lbs at 9 month, big for a girl. She has a lot of hair at birth and her hair grows longer this time, can probably put it in a ponytail. She has no teeth and can't crawl yet.

Zoe is the oldest baby, well toddler, at 1 year old. She is very different than the rest of the gang. She starts to walk, drinks from cups and definitely more vocal.

Ashley is the tiniest baby. She doesn't have any tooth but she probably is the most mobile baby among the three at her age. She impressed other moms by pulling herself from the coffee table standing up. Although all babies are so cute, but selfishly I think she's the cutest baby! :-)

Thomas & Ashley

Ashley, Logan and Zoe

Ashley was so excited to see all these little babies. She swung her arms, babbled at other babies, crabbed other baby's hands and was all smiling happily. She loved all those new toys and was pretty busy playing with them. She loved the blocks, the balls, the phone and the bucket. And of course, she loved to chew them. She giggled at little silly things such as the bouncing balls and the ringing phone, she was very funny and made everyone there laughed.

By the time we were leaving, Ashley showed off her new learned skill by waving bye-bye to everyone, and when everyone waved back, she kept on waving. Everyone smiled and laughed, it was very sweet and cute.

Play date is definitely fun, not only for babies, but also for moms. It provides a platform for moms to exchange experiences, ideas and supports. Babies also have a lot of fun by hanging out and playing with other babies around their age. I am, and I'm sure Ashley is too, already looking forward to the next play date.

Good Morning

2009-06-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

Ashley's crib is at the end of our bed. So everyday she wakes up in the morning, she pulls down the bumper and peeks through the crib and starts babbling. As she gets stronger and stronger, she is able to hold on to the crib and pulls herself up to her knees and eventually to her feet these couple of days.

The other morning, she pulled herself up to her feet, and when she saw us looking at her, she waved her little hand and started babbling as if she was saying "good morning Mommy and Daddy!"

It was SOOO cute!

Little Taster

2009-06-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

Ashley is definitely one of the most professional tasters. She can taste any little variation of difference in taste.

She knows the new vitamin tastes different since it has iron added, so she turned her head.

She knows 3 oz of breast milk was added with 1 oz of formula and it didn't taste the same, so she pushed the bottle away.

She knows there is a difference between Similac and Enfamil, so she accepts Similac more than Enfamil. Well, just a little bit more.

She knows although frozen milk smell differently compared to fresh milk, but there are some similarities, and so, she enjoys the frozen milk.

She knows there is a slight sourness in apple, pear, and berry sauces, so she makes the pucker face.

She knows there is a tiny little bit of bitterness in cheese, so she makes this little funny bitter face.

So, Ashley, you definitely can consider taster as one of your possible careers when you grow up.

9 Month Check Up

2009-06-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Ashley's 9 month check up. Her measurements:

Height: 27", 31%
Weight: 17 lb 3.5 oz, 22%
Head: 44 cm, 51%

Sigh, sigh, in conclusion, Ashley is a tiny baby with a big head. It always bothers me that Ashley is tiny, so I always try to feed her more. When I complained to the doctor that she's tiny and asked how I can feed her more. The doctor looked at me and said, "Well, look at yourself. Some baby blends in from both parents, some just takes from one side. Yours takes more after you! And besides, she's very health and grows very well on the chart. Don't force feed her. Babies know when they are full."

Well, the doctor put me to speechless. But but but but geez, who said slim parents have to have tiny babies! Why can't slim parents have chubby babies??!! So unfair! In any cases, the checkup went well. Ashley was playfully and happy at the doctor's office. She was all giggling and playing the whole time. Regardless of her weight, I'm just content that Ashley is a healthy happy baby.

OK, this is what skinny baby looks like during her 9th month.

At Mountain View Art and Wine Festival in my pretty summer dress and hat.

Very focused. I want that remote, I'm crawling to get it!!!

Enjoying the swing.

Completely naked weighing in at the doctor's office for my 9 month measurements.

Ashley's 9 month milestones and highlights.

1. Crawls. Well, more like scooting forward.

2. Pulls herself to her knees, soon she'll be able to pull herself to stand.

3. Still dislikes formula, drinks about less than 3 oz of formula a day. She's a very picky and sensitive baby when it comes to taste. Looks like Mommy still has to keep on pumping.

4. Although she doesn't drink much milk, less than 20 oz a day. But she seems to enjoy solid food. She makes this sour face for any solid food that has a tiny little bit of sour taste.

5. Starts to eat some finger food. She can pick up finger food using her thumb and index finger.

6. Claps her hands while she's playing.

7. She's becoming more talkative. She babbles a lot from time to time while she's playing in the exersaucer or sitting in her chair as if she's having conversations with someone.

8. Stares at and studies any new faces.

Over all, Ashley is a clam and happy baby. She giggles a lot and smiles at random strangers sometime. Soon she'll start walking and become a toddler, but Mommy doesn't want her to grow up so fast. I miss the tiny soft innocent little baby just brought home from the hospital.

First Fall

2009-05-31T22:04:00.001-07:00

Ashley took her first fall today. It was actually Mommy and Daddy's oversight.

We were busy changing her crib to a lower level and left her on the big bed at the center playing and watching us. All the sudden, we heard a thump and then some crying, I turned around, she was no where on the bed. Oh on, she fell! Daddy picked her up right away and gave her some kisses and hugs. She must be freaking herself out and got scared. She sweat, and her hair was all wet. It took her about a minute of the crying and then she stopped. She was then continued to play and smile.

We thought she probably rolled over, and hit her head first and didn't want to take any chances, so I called the advise nurse. She asked how high was the fall and if there are any bumps and bruise, nope. And I told her that Ashley was all smiling and playing, moving her arms and legs around. She then advised us to put her to sleep one hour after the fall, wake her in 2 hours and then wakes her up every 4 hours at night for 2 days to make sure she is able to wake up, and if Ashley vomits and cries for more than 20 minutes in 72 hours, it means she could have headache, and we should call the doctor.

Afterwards, Ashley continues to play around, we fed her some more food and put her to sleep. She seems fine, but it still scared both of us. We feel very bad and hopefully she's alright.

Ashley, Mommy and Daddy are very very very sorry!

Ashley Is Mobile!

2009-05-22T07:57:00.001-07:00

Ashley is mobile now!

She started to crawl forward. Well, she doesn't quite know how to coordinate her arms and legs that well yet. It's more like pulling herself forward. Of course, she needs some temptations! She loves the remote control, I guess there are so many buttons on the remote that fascinates her. As long as you put the remote couple feet away, she'll start crawling. Within a minute, she arrives at her destination and gets her reward. It seems like pretty hard work to me! Since Ashley is mobile, she can not sit or stay still. She's constantly moving around, twisting her baby, rolling back and forth. We really have to keep an eye on her all the time.

Before we know it, she'll be walking soon! Time flies!

Swimming Pool / Playtime At The Park

2009-05-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

This Saturday was SO hot, so Mommy and Daddy took me out to play.

We first stopped by the swimming pool in the complex. Daddy decided to dip me into the pool. This was the first time I got to play in the pool! It felt cold, but I wasn't afraid. I actually like it quite a bit, it reminds me of being inside Mommy's tummy surrounded by water. But when Daddy continued to dip me further, and my butt got wet, I didn't know what it was, so I started crying, "Waaaa..." My warning was good enough, Daddy pulled me out of water right away.

We then continued walking to the park. We sat on a beach towel and played around. It was so nice and cool in the park. I enjoyed the blue sky, green grass, little white wild flowers, and the cool breeze in the hot spring day. I was busy chewing and playing with my toys. It was pretty fun until ....

Until Daddy decided to let me try standing on the grass on my bare feet. It was so prickly and I didn't know what to make of the grass. I'm not used to this surface and I didn't like it!!! So I was pretty upset and "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I REALLY didn't like it! Look, I even got real tears in my eyes.

It was until Mommy gave me lots of love

and Daddy tossed me around, high in the sky,

then I was happy again! It was very very fun day and I hope we can do this again!

Customer Services

2009-05-15T15:40:00.001-07:00

United States definitely has the best customer services in the world. Only in United States, they offer you free breads for meals, free refills for drinks, free sauces from the regular and fast restaurants, and you can return ANYTHING without any questions asked within certain time period.

I still clearly remember the first time I visited Australia, I thought Australia is an advanced country as United States and customer services should be somewhat around the same level, but I was surprised pretty soon.

When I first got off the airplane in Sydney, I was so thirsty and ordered a larger drink from McDonald's in the airport. Boy, the larger drink there is equivalent to the small drink here. That's OK, we got refill, right? "What refill? What is that? There is no such thing here!"

As the days gone by, I was shocked that we had to pay for breads even though we already paid for an expensive meal. "No miss, breads are not included! You have to pay for them!" "What??!!!" So, you think a small packet of ketchup should be free for the meat pie you just bought, right? NOPE! "35 cents, please."

Well, speaking of returning stuff, United States is probably the only country in the world where you can return things without any hassle. Want to get a camera and don't know what to get? Don't worry, just buy several of them, try them all out and figure which you like the best, and return the rest. Customer services won't even ask why you return them, the only question they ask, "Does it still work?"

So, here is what I really intended to blog about.

My breast pump starts not working properly this Wednesday, there is very low suction. So I called the customer service Thursday morning.

"My pump doesn't work anymore. There is hardly any suction."

"OK, let's go through some trouble shootings."

...
...
...

"Nope, it's still not working. It doesn't feel normal."

"OK, we have to send you a new pump then. So, here is authorization code. Can you please fax me your receipt to prove it's still under the warranty?"

"Oh, what's my problem. My friend purchased the pump for me through her company discount program. And I don't have the receipt."

"Does your friend still have the receipt? Or a gift receipt? If not, a credit card statement will still work. I just need to have the proof for the date of purchase."

"Nope, I already asked her that last night, she doesn't have it. I don't know what to do. I had to borrow someone else's pump."

"Hmmm, well, we normally need a receipt. But as a courtesy, I will do it for you this time. What's your baby's birth date?"

"August, 30th, 2009. I can fax you a copy of my baby's birth certificate if you'd like."

"No, that's not necessary."

So, that was yesterday, and this morning I received my brand new pump already! I'm really truly speechless.

Clap / Red Dress / Yummy Chair

2009-05-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Ashley must be watching Mommy and Daddy clap. Every now and then, she starts clapping her hands while she plays around. Of course, if you ask her to clap for you, she wouldn't do it. She only wants to do it whenever she desires.

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The weather is getting warmer and warmer lately. This Saturday, we put on a red dress on Ashley, she was excited. She absolutely looked like a little pretty princess in the red dress. She will always be Mommy's little pretty princess.

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Although Ashley is a little skinny girl, she actually has big muscles! When she's standing in her exersaucer, she eyes the chair nearby and walks herself close to the chair and picks it up. "hmmm, I haven't tasted a chair, it must be yummy like milk milk! I'm just going to taste it!"

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

Since I became a mom, I have definitely learned a lot and have different prospectives in life.

For once, I truly understand what unconditional love is. Parents really really truly love their children unconditionally regardless of what happen. It's definitely the purest love.

I used to think career is very important and work hard for it. But now while career is still important to me, I have a higher priority in life -- Ashley.

It's since I became a mom, I now understand things my parents have said and done to me.

It's since I became a mom, I have become more accepting, forgiving and hopefully more patient and loving.

So, Happy Mother's Day to all moms and mothers to be!

Frozen Milk

2009-05-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

Since the last week, little Ashley has not been drinking much milk, even with the breast milk. We feed her the formula once every other day. She still doesn't like the taste much and always pushes out the nipple after a couple sucks. But I guess she's hungry in the morning and would still drink about 4 oz only and stops.

Same goes with the breast milk, every feed she takes about 4 or 3 oz and stops. It seems like she has a buffer in her tummy that automatically stops the intake once it reaches 4 oz. Sometime during the day, it's even worse, she drinks 2 or 1.5 oz and stops. She must be a fairy who doesn't need to eat, but still can sleep for 10 hours over night! When she was little, she could drink down 5 to 6 oz and one time she sucked down 6.75 oz within a few minutes. Mommy misses those days!

Anyway, so Mommy, Daddy and the Nanny all are worried about her recent drinking patterns and have tried various ways to feed her. We even use syringe and spoon to feed her the milk, she still won't take much. Yesterday, the Nanny mentioned that Ashley seems to LOVE frozen milk, so why don't we give her frozen milk?

For those of you who don't know, after breast milk is frozen and then thawed , it has very unpleasant smell due to lipase, the enzyme that digests fats, stays active when milk is frozen. The frozen milk not only smells but also tastes soapy when thawed. It tastes worse than the formula, pretty gross. I tasted it once and would never try it again. Daddy tried it once, and almost threw up. But for some unexplained reason, Ashely loves it! Every time we give her the frozen milk, she sucks it right down and empties the bottle. And guess what? Yesterday when the nanny gave her the frozen milk, she finished all and was able to drink even more before her nap!

It really puzzles us why Ashley loves the frozen milk more than the formula, or even the fresh milk. It's going to remain a all time mystery.

iPod Shuffle

2009-05-07T15:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is a true story, I'm not doing commercial for Apple.

Since AJ works for Apple, for some reasons, I sort of become the Apple AE/customer support/salesperson/spokeperson here at work. I get all sorts of questions and requests from my coworkers and friends:

"hey, my friend's friend's iPod touch doesn't work, do you know why? or if your husband knows why? If not, can he find out why?"
"no, I don't know why, Andrew probably doesn't know why. Why don't you guys call Apple customer service?"

"hey, my nephew's iPod won't sync to his library, what's wrong?"
"hmmm, I don't know. Are you sure he's using the same computer to sync?"

"hey, Do you know how to unlock the iphone?"
"why don't you search the web?"

"hey, the battery on my iPod doesn't work, do you know how to fix it?"
"no, I don't. Why don't you call Apple?"

"hey, Katherine, I bought a fake iphone on line!"
"Oh really? What does it call? OrangePhone?" (It's going to break soon!!)

"hey, my husband/wife/friends/kids/parents/pets/etc/etc wants to buy an iPod/iphone/macbook/etc/etc, can I get a discount from your husband?"
"sure". (hehehe, anything helps Apple sell its products, I'm glad to help.)

This morning, my coworker, SC, ran into my office with excitement and cheers,

"hey, Katherine, iPod Shuffle is amazing!"

Oh no, it sounds fishy, this must be something bad. "what happened?" I asked cautiously.

"The other day, I forgot to take off the shuffle from my shirt, and I accidentally put it in the washer and washed it. When I took it out, it doesn't work anymore. I tried it several times and it still doesn't work, so I just left it somewhere on my table."

"well, not a good idea to wash electronics, especially in the washer." I defended Apple (of course).

"no, no, no, I was about to throw it away last night, but then I thought, why not give it another try. So I charged the shuffle, and it works! It works! it works! I can't believe it."

"me neither!" I agreed right away (with relief).

"Apple has great products, it's definitely worth the money!" SC is still going about how unbelievable it is.

"of course!"

What can I say? Good product speaks for itself. There is a reason why people like brand name. :-)

Sour Food / Crawling Backward / Raspberry / Sippy Cup

2009-05-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

Ashley loves solid food, well, most of the solid food. She's not quite used to the sour taste such as apple and berries. When she tastes the sour food, she squints her eye, shakes her head and makes a pucker face. Mommy and Daddy can not stop laughing.

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Ashley is able to move backward, she can move about 3 meters or so from where she starts. Maybe this is a sign of her start crawling?

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It's getting more difficult to feed Ashley. Since the last week, she doesn't seem to be drinking and eating much. When she doesn't want to eat, she makes raspberry with her mouth and spits milk and food everywhere on the chair, her cloth and Mommy and Daddy's faces. She actually thinks this is funny and starts laughing.

---

Mommy got a sippy cup for Ashley to let her start learning to drink from a sippy cup. At first, she had no clue what it is. Just like everything we give her, she starts chewing on the cup. Slowly she figures it out, and starts using her hands to hold the handles, and sucking from the sprout. She is able to drink some water from it and of course she gets wet everywhere.

Ashley is 8 Month Old Today

2009-04-30T22:28:00.001-07:00

Ashley is 8 month old today. Her big accomplishment this month:

1. Very proficient at rolling

2. Sitting up right

3. Putting herself to sleep most of the time since last couple of weeks.

She is a big girl now. Here are Ashley's 7 month and 8 month photos.

7 month. Look, I got a cute hat.

8 month. Hey, what you got in your hand? Are you taking photo of me?

Baby Hair

2009-04-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

3 months after Ashley was born, Mommy started losing a lot of hair. Every time I take a shower, run my fingers through my hair, brush my hair, a bunch of hair would just fall off. I mean a BUNCH, not a couple. Within a day, it seems like thousands and thousands of hairs are lost. OK, OK, I might be exaggerating, but it's very close. I was very worried that at this rate, sooner or later I will be bald!!

While looking at myself in the mirror the other day, I noticed there are some baby hairs growing everywhere on my head. Thank God!!! Haha, they look just like Ashley's hair: short, thin, soft and standing up right. And they are growing at the same rate. I look funny with these standing baby hair though, and I always try to press them down.

The other day, after a shower at the end of my workout, a coworker of mine walked pass me and looked at me funny, and said to me, "Hey Katherine, you got a lot of static in your hair! They all standing up right!" Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Babies Always Know who Their Parents Are

2009-04-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

Ashley's pediatrician once told us that babies always know who their parents are. She told the story about how close her nanny and her kids were that her kids called their nanny "Nanny Mommy". Then she said, "that's OK with me because it shows that the nanny was nice to my kids, and my kids loved their nanny and the nanny loved my kids. And besides, babies always know who their parents are."

While Daddy was away for 3 weeks, Ashley showed the sign of stranger anxiety and I was wondering if Ashley still remembers and recognizes Daddy or she might feel uncomfortable when she sees Daddy and thinks Daddy is a stranger. So when Daddy got home from his trip, he picked up Ashley after her nap. Ashley seemed fine seeing Daddy although she hadn't seen him for 3 weeks. She then smiled at Daddy, she knows who Daddy is, and Daddy is all melt.

Home Alone With Ashley 1 - Part 3

2009-04-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

Tough week this week.

First, introduced formula to Ashley, that was a pretty tough battle. Surprisingly, Ashley seems to accept formula although we only tried it 3 times. Then for several days, she drank less and less and Mommy's milk supply goes back up thanks to non-stop pumping. So we haven't tried formula since then.

Second, for a couple of days this week, Ashley didn't want to sleep. She went to sleep around 9 PM to 9:30 PM, then woke up half hour to 45 minutes later crying. I tried to rock her, held her in my arms for more than an hour until my arms and wrists became SOOO sore (my wrists are still painful now, probably damaged), she still didn't want to sleep until 1 AM or 12 midnight.

Third, we decided not to rock her. Ashley would cry for 15 to 20 minutes or so, then went to sleep. Not bad, hopefully it keeps up although it's very tough watching her crying.

How can I describe these 3 weeks?

Weekdays:
7 :00 PM to 7:30PM: come home from work
7:30 PM to 8:00 PM: dinner
8:00 PM to 8:30 PM: pump
9:00 PM to 9:45 PM: put Ashley to sleep since she only wants Mommy to do it, mostly rocking
10:00 PM to 10:30 PM: brush my teeth, wash my face, get ready to sleep
11:15 PM to 11:45 PM: pump
11:45 PM to 12:15 PM: wash bottles
12 PM to 12:30 PM: go to sleep myself
6:30 AM to 7:30 AM: Ashley wakes up

Weekends: cycles between diaper changing, feeding, pumping, washing bottles, playing with Ashley, feeding solid food, diaper changing, putting Ashley to sleep.

Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh ........

Morning Nap

2009-04-26T10:36:00.001-07:00

For some strange reasons, regardless how much sleep Ashley gets over night, she always falls asleep with 1.5 hours after she wakes up in the morning, sometimes even sooner if you don't play with her. She can have over 10 hours of sleep over night, but still does the same thing.

This past Monday, after she drank some milk, I had to pump and had no choice but to put her in the exersaucer. Half way through my pump, she started getting quite, but I couldn't play with her. By the time I put the milk away, she was already leading over the exersaucer felt asleep. She was as soft as cotton when I picked her up. I tried to play with her, but it was too late, she was already asleep. That was only 15 minutes!

I can't believe this baby can fall asleep standing up!

The Battle of Breast Milk vs. Formula (cont.)

2009-04-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

This morning, Ashley drank 6 oz of formula!!! Great job, Ashley, you're a very good baby.

We thought the best time for her to accept formula is when she's hungry, so we decided to try it the very first feed in the early morning.

To our surprise, she took down 4.5 oz without fighting or fuzziness. Usually in the morning, she takes 2 feeds within half hour span, and can normally drink about 7-8 oz total. Half hour later, we gave her more. This time, she sucked it slowly and perhaps realized it's formula and stopped sucking. That gave us the total of 6 oz.

Not bad, in fact very good for 2nd day! Ashley, you're a very very very good baby. We just need to drink the formula once a day.

Mommy was so worried last night that I couldn't sleep. Now I can relax a little bit.

The Battle of Breast Milk vs. Formula

2009-04-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

Since Ashley was born till now, she has been on breast milk exclusively except 1 oz of formula when we first got home from the hospital. In order to provide her with enough of breast milk, I have been pumping non-stop. I would scarify sleep and stay up past 12 mid night to pump although Ashley goes to sleep early. I continue to pump in pain with one nipple cracked and bleeding.

I used to pump 6 times a day, but started slowly to cut down after Ashley was 6 month old. I was able to get 28-29 oz of milk when 6 pumps and about 23-24 with 4 pumps. When I got sick about 2 weeks ago, my breast milk supply decreased straight down to 17-18 oz. So, I went back to pump 6 times a day while supplementing Ashley with the backup frozen milk. Although my breast milk supply goes backup to 24-25 oz, with the frozen milk gone, I know sooner or later we would have to introduce formula to Ashley.

Today is the day.

This afternoon, the nanny mixed 3 oz of breast milk with 1 oz of formula to give to Ashley. As soon as Ashley put the nipple in her month and smelt the milk, she refused to eat it even she was hungry. But as soon as the nanny gave her the breast milk, she sucked down 5 oz right away. And we ran out of breast milk at home.

When I got home this evening around 7PM, Ashley only had some sweet potato and rice cereal since 3PM. She still refused drinking the formula. So, we decided to switch to a different formula. She still refused, pushed the nipple out or turned her head away. She was hungry but still did not drink the formula, she rather starve. Half hour later, Ashley was crying and fuzzing around, she was very hungry. I decided to try the formula again, at first she refused it and pushed out the nipple, so I tried again, and she finally took 2 oz of formula with struggle. After that, she didn't want to take any more. To reward her, at the end we gave her some breast milk, and she drank it down without any problem.

Ashley, Ashley, Mommy has tried the very best feeding you for almost 8 months and it is pretty lucky that Mommy has so much milk to last this long. I am sorry that I can not give you enough and I hate to see you starve. I feel like I'm losing something by giving you formula. However, eventually you would need to get off breast milk. I know the formula does not taste as good as the breast milk, but you are doing pretty good given it's the first day we introduced the formula. Can you please please try more tomorrow?

We'll try tomorrow again.

Birthday

2009-04-20T21:26:00.000-07:00

As we grow older, we care less and less about birthdays. At certain age of our life, we wish birthdays would never come again and time would just freeze.

This year is very different than all other years. AJ is not around, but I got my sweet angelic daughter by my side. For every year I become older, she grows taller, bigger and wiser. So from now on, it does not matter how much older I am becoming because I see myself in her and my existence in her presence.

Life continues on.

Ashley's Growth Stories

2009-04-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

1. Going to Sleep

Ashley is used to have Mommy and Daddy to put her to sleep at night and it seems she only wants Mommy or Daddy. Every night in the last two weeks, the nanny would try to rock Ashley to sleep, but she would cry and fuzz. She would stop crying right away every time Mommy takes over. Baby definitely has great sense of smell, they can smell and differentiate their mommies and daddies. It truly makes me feel great that my little angel needs and wants her Mommy. :-)

2. Roll, Roll Roll

Since Ashley started to roll in both directions, she loves rolling. She rolls on the sofa, on the floor, in her crib and on the bed. She loves to roll on Mommy & Daddy's big California king size bed. Every time I put her down on the bed, she would continuously rolling from one end of the bed to the other end. She discovers that by rolling, she can get to the places she wants and grabs the stuff she's interested in. So she would roll, roll roll to get to her destination. Putting cloth on her is getting tougher, the minute you put her down, she rolls, turn her over, she rolls again.

3. Stranger Anxiety

When Ashley was a little baby, we could pass her to anyone and she was fine with it. Lately, every time she meets a new person, she would stare and study the new face and constantly looking at me to make sure I am around. If I passed her to the new person too soon, she would start crying and I would have to hold her right away. She needs about 20 minutes or so to get comfortable with any new person.

4. Where are my toys?

Ashley started to realize that when she throws her toys away, the toys don't just disappear, they still exist but just missing. So she would look around on the floor for her toys. Small but important milestone.

5. Sleeping on her side

During the last couple of weeks, Ashley starts to sleep on her side.

6. Swing

This weekend is the first time I saw Ashley sitting on the swing, holding on to the handle bar and kicking her legs. She seems like a big baby now.

7. Head on the side

While Ashley is playing this week, she would pause and put her head on one side of her shoulder and smile as if she's making a photo gesture. It is so cute.

8. Sitting

Ashley is getting better sitting. She can sit fine if she doesn't grab anything.

9. Zipper

Ashley discovers zippers and she loves to pull it to unzip and zip it up. She would repeat the same thing over and over again, doesn't seem to be tired of it.

Home Alone With Ashley 1 - Part 2

2009-04-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Second week home alone with Ashley.

SP & BW visited us Saturday. We took Ashley out to the park near by. Have heard the nanny mentioned that Ashley loves the swing at the playground in the park. I didn't believe that small baby like Ashley can actually sit on the swing and enjoys it. So we went straight to the swing and put Ashley on. It was true, Ashley held on the handle bar, her legs kicked around every time we pushed the swing. She really truly enjoyed it. Afterwards, we sat around on the beach towel on the grass in the shade. Ashley curiously looked around, rolled around on the beach towel and seemed to enjoy being outdoor. We should definitely take her out more, there are so many new things she needs to learn.

Later on, PK showed up with her daughter Cerisa. PK and I had the same due date and Cerisa was born 3 days earlier than Ashley. They played together a bit. Ashley grabbed Cerisa's toy and vice versa, and both immediately put the toys in their mouths. Although these 2 girls are the same age, but they grow at their own different pace. It's always nice to let Ashley hangs out with someone her own age. I wonder if she's bored of having adults around her all the time.

Today is such a hot day. NQ showed up to help and we decided to take Ashley to have some pearl tea. We ordered some drinks and snacks, sat around and chatted in the sunny Sunday afternoon. Ashley continued to look around checking out the new surroundings, and played with her toys. At home, I put Ashley on the sofa sitting up next to me while I was on the laptop and gave her some toys. She just sat around, played with her toys in content. No fuzziness, no crying, no screaming, she is truly an angel.

It seems things are easier this week. Not sure if it's because I get more used to it or it is because I got visitors? 1 more week to go.

Home Alone With Ashley 1 - Part 1

2009-04-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

This is the first week Daddy's traveling and the first week Mommy's home alone with Ashley. Having the nanny staying home during the weekdays definitely provides great help. Most of the week, Mommy was busy fighting with the flu but luckily near the weekend, the flu was 70% gone and Mommy was able to handle Ashley alone.

Home alone with Ashley wasn't as bad as Mommy thought it would be, but it is just so busy, non-stop, no breaks sort of days. It starts with Ashley wakes up, change her diaper, feed her, pump, wash bottles, play with her, feed her some solid food, change her diaper again and put her to sleep. Then finally Mommy gets some time to eat, and then the whole cycle starts all over again. At the end of the day, Mommy is still in her pajamas and didn't get to brush her teeth until the end of the night (I know, disgusting!!) Fortunately, Ashley is such good, calm and sweet baby except she refuses to drink any milk right before she goes to sleep. However, she's been cooperating with Mommy by going to sleep around 10PM and waking up at 8AM these couple of days. Can't imagine how difficult it would be if Ashley is a fuzzy baby. Regardless, Mommy definitely has great respect for the single parents out there!

Mommy is Sick!

2009-04-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

Mommy got a terrible flu since last Thursday: very very sore throat, headache, fever and nasal congestion. Fever is gone now, but the rest of symptoms are still here. The sore throat is so painful that Mommy almost lost her voice and she can not swallow anything. The only "good" side effect is that Mommy lost 3 lbs within 2 days. :-)

Mommy hasn't played, held and spoken to Ashley for last several days. Mommy doesn't want to get Ashley sick and has to wear a mask around her. Ashley doesn't know what's going on and stares at Mommy funny. Luckily so far Ashley has not been affected. Poor Daddy had to do everything for Ashley last couple of days. But Daddy is leaving for a business trip for 3 weeks tomorrow, Mommy doesn't know what she is going to do if she is still not well by the weekend. Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh....

Clap Clap

2009-04-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ashley loves her orange and blue rocker chair. She does everything in that chair: she sleeps on the chair; relaxes on the chair; parties on that chair; eats on that chair; plays on that chair. The chair has a moving chicken on the side and a cat and a dog hanging on the hanging bar across the front. There is a red handle beneath the dog and if you pull it hard, it plays music.

After Ashley discovered that, she loves to pull the handle to play the music. Every time she pulls the handle, she would look for Mommy and Daddy waiting for some sort of reactions. So Mommy and Daddy would smile at Ashley and start cheering "YEEEAHHHH, you're SO smart, good job!" and start clapping as well. Daddy has nice big warm hands and of course when he claps, it's pretty loud. At the beginning, little Ashley didn't realize what clapping is and probably thought it's something bad, perhaps thought she's getting a spank, so she started pulling her chin and cheeks, and did a crying face. At this time, Mommy had to pick up Ashley, gave her some comfort and ensured her everything was OK. Since then, whenever this happens, Mommy has to tell Daddy to clap gently. Poor Daddy has to clap with his big hands in slow motion and barely touching each other, and hardly produces any sound. Ashley is then satisfied and returns with a huge smile. Now Ashley learned that clapping is a good thing and enjoys pulling the handle bar to play the music and always looks around for Mommy and Daddy and waits for her clap clap reward.

Ashley's Sleeping Story

2009-04-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

Ashley used to sleep on her back with her whole body and hands swaddled in layers of swaddles for her first month. At the 2nd month, Mommy and Daddy decided not to swaddle her hands. Little did they know, every time she startled, she woke herself up. Mommy and Daddy had no clues what was waking Ashley up until they watched a DVD on how to put babies to sleep. It was then they realized that she was still too young to control her hand movements and that itself could wake her up. So Ashley was back to her swaddled stage for a while. It was until she mastered to control and coordinate her hands, Mommy and Daddy slowly stopped swaddling her hands after 3 months.

Since Ashley started to roll around in both directions in the last couple of weeks, she would kick and roll in her crib and ends up in the completely different part of the crib, sometimes even sleeping horizontally. Every now and then, she can roll to her side to sleep and then rolls back to her back. Smart Ashley also discovered a new game that if she kicks on the button on her music box hanging on the side of her crib, she can turn on and then off the music. She probably thinks that is a very fun game, so she would constantly kicking the music box turning on and off, on and off the music and then starts giggling.

An hour after Ashley was put to sleep last night, she started to kick and roll around as if she was "sleep rolling". After a couple minutes of kicking and rolling, somehow Ashley rolled from her back to her tummy and continued sleeping on her tummy. Wow, that was the very first time Mommy and Daddy saw Ashley roll to her tummy to sleep. Mommy and Daddy can not be sure if Ashley has done that before while they were sleeping. Excitements put aside, Mommy and Daddy did not want to take any chances of SID, so Mommy still went in and rolled Ashley back to sleep on her back. It will not be surprised to Mommy that one day after she wakes up she would find Ashley sleeping horizontally on her tummy at a small corner by the end of her crib.

Time Flies

2009-03-31T18:08:00.000-07:00

Saw HCW's 7 week old daughter, Megan, for the first time this afternoon. My first reaction was, "how tiny, so small!" HCW mentioned that Megan is already 9 lb and reminded me that Ashley was once as small as Megan. In deed very true. Ashley was born 7 lb and 3 oz, but now she is probably around 16 lb. I'm so used seeing how her is now that I can't even remember how small she once was during the first couple of months.

Time really flies. It is not as obvious on adults as we don't change much from month to month. However it is so evident on little babies as they can grow so much within a week, a month. Ashley has gone through so many transformations just within the 7 month period. I wish I started a blog 7 months ago so that I could write down and remember all those little yet significant milestones.

Ashley's Growth for First 6 Months

2009-03-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

Here are photo for Ashley's first 6 months:

New born, 19.5 inch, 7 lb 3 oz.

1st month, 21.5 inch, 9 lb 9.25 oz, starts to smile & kicks very hard.

2nd month, 22.5 inch, 11 lb 6 oz, can lift her head up without support.

3rd month, starts to giggle at funny noises and silly little things.

4th month, 24.5 inch, 13 lb 2.5 oz, rolls over from her tummy to her back.

5th month

6th month, 25.5 inch, 14 lb 14 oz, starts to sit a little bit, can roll over from her back to tummy.

MaMa

2009-03-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

In the last couple of weeks, all the sudden one day Ashley started saying "MaMa"!! She would mumble "ma, ma, ma" out of blue while she's playing. Sometimes, it seems she knows what she's saying, but most of the time she just mumbles "mama" subconsciously. Most obviously is that when she fusses, she likes to cry out loud "maaa,mama" as if she's asking for Mom. I can't resist to pick her up and hold her every time. I really don't think Ashley knows what Mama means yet, but it still makes me very happy.

I wonder sometimes where the origin of the words, Mama & BaBa, comes from. In most of the languages, Mom always sounds similar to "ma", "mom", "mum", and Dad always sounds similar to "Ba", "Da", "Pa". It's amazing how similar they are even though the languages are completely different. Now since Ashley starts saying "MaMa" & "BaBa", I do think that it is very possible that human just pick those two words for Mom and Dad based on babies' first couple of words. "Ma" and "Ba" are definitely one of the first frequent sounds babies speak in all languages.

Baby's brain is like a recorder that stores all sort of wonderful sounds and words. I had tried repeatedly to teach Ashley "Mama, mama" before, she never responded back. But her little recorder imprints "Mama" somewhere in her memory. When she is ready, she can pronounce it precisely just like the play back of a record . I should start repeating other phases such as "hi", "bye", to her. Who knows, one day she might surprise us all again and again.

Grand Opening

2009-03-17T15:14:00.000-07:00

Thought about opening a blog for a long time, but never actually taken any actions. Meanwhile, I have been a big fan of other people's blogs. It's a great platform to get to know their day to day lives, their fun little stories, their thoughts and minds even though they can be thousands of miles away.

As Ashley is getting bigger and cuter each day, it gives me motivations to finally open a blog and keep a diary of Ashley's milestones. I certainly hope one day as she grows up, she gets to read all about her upbringing. So here it goes, to my little sweetie pie!